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AN 



ARABIAN NIGHT 



NINETEENTH CENTURY. 



A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS, FROM THE GERMAN 
OF VON MOSER. 

BY 

AUGUSTIN DALY. 



AS ACTED AT DALY'S THEATRE FOR THE FIRST TIME, 
NOVEMBER 29th, 1879. 




NEW YORK : 
PRINTED AS MANUSCRIPT ONLY, FOR THE AUTHOR. 

1884. 






Copyright, 1879, By Augustin Daly. 



DRAMATIS PERSONS AND ORIGINAL CAST. 



ME. ALEXANDEE SPINKLE, retired broker and ex-Caliph; 
a devoted young husband, with a fatal passion for the 
Arabian Nights Mr. John Drew 

HEEBEET EUMBEENT, artist and enthusiast, whose pursuit 
of the ideal results in his successfully overtaking her, 

Mr. Harry Lacy 

UNCLE MA JOE, a dear old soul to confide in, Mr. William Davidge 

LAFAYETTE MOODLE, not such a fool as he looks for in the 

matrimonial market, Mr. George PaRkes 

"SIGNOE" HEECULES BEEEOWN, Premier Cannon Ball 
Tosser, and First Heavy Weight in Boom's Greatest 
Show on the Planet Mr. Charles Leclerq 

JOHN, Butler at Spinkle's, with a talent for nagging the old 

lady, Mr. Frank Bennett 

PETEE, Waiter at Mrs. Portley's Summer Hotel on the Boule- 
vard Mr. Hunting 

MES. LOUISE SPINKLE, a model wife, i. e., she Believes 

everything He tells Her, Miss Margaret Lanner 

MISS KATE SPINKLE, an American girl brought up abroad, 

and astonished at the ways at home, .... Miss Ada Eehan 

MES. WEEBLES, who being Mr. Spinkle's Mother-in-Law, is 

not partial to his Eomance, Mrs. Charles Poole 

EOSA MAYBLOOM, a young lady transformed by the Genii of 
Haroun al Easchid into what she is not; — but always 
captivating Whatever she is. With a fleeting vision of 
the "Corsair's Bride," and a brief revelation of the 
"Great Indian Act," Miss Catherine Lewis 

MES. POETLEY, Keeper of a Summer Hotel on the Boule- 
vard, Miss Sydney Nelson 

SUSAN, Chambermaid at Spinkle's, Miss Georgine Flagg 



INCIDENTAL 

To the First Act. — Haroun al Easchid, in the privacy of home, reveals 
an adventure not to be found in the Arabian Nights. He's in for it, and 
in trying to get out opens up a series of hairbreadth escapes of the most 
thrilling cbaracter. The Wild Kose of Yucatan is transformed, and 
the Caliph escapes for one night. 

To the Second Act. — The Caliph is down on his luck, and Mrs. Spinkle 
undertake? to have an adventure of her own. The American Girl from 
abroad undertakes straightening affairs. Mrs. Weebles undertakes 
matchmaking attempts on the Transformed Beauty, and Lafayette 
undertakes to assist. Great success of every undertaking except that 
of Keeping a Secret. 

To the Third Act. — The consequences of the Caliph's nocturnal adven- 
ture become more appalling. The stony-hearted Sultan sacrifices his 
Xiece to save himself. The opportune arrival of the Cannon Ball Tos- 
ser brings a ray of light. The spell is removed and Eosa becomes for 
the moment, "The Wild Eose of Yucatan; or, the Modoc Girl Pursued, 
and the Corsair's Bride." (But — for further particulars — see the play.) 
Grand Departure of the Beautiful Stranger and her faithful Cavalier, 
and disastrous overturn of Moodle. 

To the Fourth Act. — The Cup of Hope is found to be cracked, and the 
bright anticipations dribble out. Haroun al Easchid is nailed by his 
Mother-in-Law, who reigns over Bagdad and the Boulevard for a quar- 
ter of an hour. Eosa keeps her promise, however, and saving every- 
body, leads to a conclusion of Universal Happiness. 

The entire action transpires within a day and a half. The first, second 
and fourth acts pass in Spinkle's house on the Western Boulevard. The 
action of the third act occurs in Mrs. Portley's Summer Hotel, opposite. 



ACT I. 

Scene. — Spinkle's house. Parlors. Doors c, also r. and l. ; win- 
dow, l. e. ; fireplace, r. e. Elegantly furnished through- 
out. Music. 



Susan discovered dusting vigorously. John enters with newspaper. 

John. Mr. Spinkle isn't up yet ? 

Susan. [Snappish.] I don't know. 

John, [l., looking over papers.'] What's the matter with 
you ? 

Susan. I shan't stand their nonsense in this house much 
longer. 

John. Has the old woman been at you again ? 

Susan. [Pert, ill-natured.'] Yes ; from morning till night, 
she keeps me a-dusting when there ain't a speck of dust to be 
found with a microscope, let alone with her old specs. Young 
Missis was a lady, and let a servant do her own work her own 
way, but Mrs. Weebles watches and pounces on a poor girl like 
a cat on a mouse. 

John. Same with me. She keeps me everlastingly on the go. 
It's " John run to the post," or " John run to the drug store," or 
" John run to the dressmaker's." It's run, run, run, as if I was 
a young greyhound. Oh, she's a-going it, while her daughter is 
away. 

Susan. [Advancing.] How master puts up with her, I don't 
know. 

John. He suffers as much as we do. That's some comfort. 
She puts him through his paces like a colt. [Bell.] Who's 
that, I wonder ? \_Bell.] I bet it's the old tormentor now ! 

Susan. [ Crossing to L., dusting.] I ain't afraid of her. Let 
her ring. 

John. She evidently daren't discharge us, or she'd have done 
it long ago; so we can worry her as much as we like. I love to 
put her in a passion. It's the only luxury my exhausted system 
can enjoy. I find she abominates whistling, so I generally give 
her a concert. 

Susan. [Dusting.] Here she is. 

John, [r] Is she ? [Begins to whistle, as he arranges news- 
papers on table.] 



6 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. e. 

Mrs. Weebles. [Brusquely.'] Have you lost your ears ? Didn't 
you hear me ring, Susan ? 

Susan. Bing, rua'ani ? Lor'! was it you? 

Mrs. W. [a, to John.'] Stop that whistling, sir ! How dare 
you whistle in my presence ? 

John, [b., turns.'] It was only the "Turkish Bevelee," 
ma'am. 

Mrs. W. Don't let me hear it again. 

John. [Going up.] No, ma'am. It is getting rather played 
out, as they say. 

Mrs. W. [Aside .] Impudent monkey ! If I dared to dis- 
charge him in Louise's absence! [To Susan.] Susan, come with 
me directly. I want you. [Exits, R. u. d.] 

Susan. Yes, ma'am. [Exchanges smiles with John, and follows 
Mrs. W., R. u. d.] 

John. [Whistles very loudly.] That's a parting salute. I'll 
serenade her every time I pass her door. I'll teach her to wear 
a poor devil out ! [Goes to door, l., knocks and listens.] 

Spinkle. [l. d., inside.] Be there directly. 

John. [Stands aside.] He's up. 

Spenkle enters, L. u. d., crosses to R. ; carefully dressed. 

Spinkle. Well, John, what is it? [Coming to c] 

John. I've put your newspapers on the table as usual, sir. 
[Mysteriously.] But not your letters. 

Sp. [Stage, r.] Well — and why not the letters as usual ? 

John. Because, sir — yesterday — entering the room unawares, 
— I perceived your mother-in-law examining the correspondence 
very closely — putting on her specs to look at the postmarks and 
the handwriting. [Takes letters from his pocket.] 

Sp. [Snatches letters.] That's a pretty cool proceeding. 
[ Crosses to L.] 

John. I knew you'd think so, when I told you about it. 

Sp. [Sits back of table.] I refer to your officiousness, you 
donkey. 

John. [l. c, hurt.] Donkeys can be dumb, sir. They have 
ears, but they havn't any tongues. P'raps it was as well I was a 
donkey yesterday, when old Missis asked where I went on that 
errand for you. 

Sp. [Struck.] Did she ? [Feels his pocket] There are some 
things it is not essential for everybody to know, John. 

John. Just what I told her, sir, and she chased me out of the 
room. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. / 

Sp. I don't wonder. [Rises, gives coin.'] Here — you remem- 
ber, I once told you that speech was silver — 

John. And silence was gold. [Looks at money.] So it is, sir. 
[Puts it in his pocket] 

Sp. You can go. [ Opens letters, crossing to R.] 

John. That one has been lying in the post office a fortnight, 
sir ; seems to have been misdirected — was a long time getting to 
you, sir. 

Sp. [Looks at envelope.] So it was ! A letter from abroad, too ! 
And from my brother! [Begins to read.] 

Uncle Major enters, c. l., comes down l. John takes his hat 
and cane and exits, r. d. 

Uncle. Ah ! there you are. Came to take breakfast and cheer 
you up in your solitude. [Shake hands.] 

Sp. [Heading, not looking up.] Glad to see you, uncle. 

Unc. Something important? 

Sp. From brother Ned in Marseilles ; you remember, he is 
in charge of the railway construction there. 

Unc. All well I hope ? 

Sp. [Surprised on reading.] He's coming home! and has 
sent Kate — you know little Kate — his daughter, my niece, and 
your grand-niece— he is sending her on before him! By Jove! 
This letter has been detained two weeks. She's due now! 

Unc. Sent her over before him ? 

Sp. He had to ; it's all explained here — broke up house-keep- 
ing, took his passage, shipped his goods, and was kept back him- 
self at the last moment for an indefinite period. [Gives Uncle 
the letter, who puts on spectacles and reads.] 

Unc. So, so! [Gets R.] 

Sp. [Crossing to l., going up to c] Where are the papers — if 
the steamer should be in! [Turns them inside out hurriedly.] 

Unc. [Beads.] " Kate is a real treasure ! An American girl 
with no French improvements; a little independent, like me, and 
very romantic, like you, my dear old fellow." 

Sp. [Comes down to l.] I don't see the name. I must in- 
quire at the office. 

Unc. [Folding letter.] What a surprise for your wife, when 
she comes home! A great, big niece! She'll be the joy of the 
house. 

. Sp. I don't know. My mother-in-law is yet to be heard from. 
[Shrinking from him.] 

Unc. [Quizzically.] I say, how do you get on with her? 

Sp. As if I were living under the supervision of the police. 



8 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Une. Pooh ! A fig for her supervision ! You've nothing to 
conceal. 

Sp. [Looks at him meditatively.'] Havn't I? [Sighs.] 

line. What's the matter ? 

Sp. Do you care to have my confidence? 

Une. If it's " no confidence — no breakfast," fire away ; but 
you know how I hate other people's secrets. [Sits l. of c. table.] 

Sp. [Sits r. of c. table.] I may need your assistance. 

Une. Come to the point. 

Sp. You know I went to San Francisco on business two 
months ago. That was the beginning of the trouble. 

Une. But you took your wife with you. 

Sp. Yes, but I had to leave without her, and come back alone. 
She stayed behind with her sister who was sick. Well — [Pause.] 

Une. Well? 

Sp. [Drawing closer.] Uncle, you have known me a great 
number of years. 

Une. Ever since you were born, and that is — let me see — 

Sp. Never mind the precise date. But you recollect that, 
left, at an early age, my own master with a handsome fortune, I 
was always of a romantic and visionary nature. Going about, 
seeking adventure — 

Une. Particularly at night. 

Sp. Doing good ! [Impressively.] 

Une. I hope so. 

Sp. I took as my model my old boyish delight, the wonderful 
hero of the Arabian Nights — the dear old Sultan Haroun al 
Raschid. Like him, it was my fancy to go about silently studying 
people and their purposes, secretly rescuing the unfortunate when 
I found them, and rewarding the honest, and quietly enjoying the 
blessings they showered on their unknown benefactor. 

Une. A very sensible, practical, and economical amusement 
for a New Yorker in the latter half of the nineteenth century, I 
must say. Ha ! Ha ! 

Sp. Laugh at me ; I deserve it. When I married, I gave up 
all such nonsense, of course. 

Une. Of course. 

Sp. A lovely, devoted wife is worth all the fairies of the 
Arabian Nights rolled into one. [Half aside.] 

Une. Louise is a charming creature. 

Sp. [Turning to him.] And yet, separated from her, as I 
was recently, the old romantic passion returned. 

Une. Passion for whom? 

Sp. [Impatie?it.] For whom? For Haroun al Easchid! 
The Arabian Nights! For adventure, you know! . 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 9 

Une. You mean you began your nocturnal prowling again. 

Sp. Listen. On the way home from San Francisco, our train 
stopped at a remote Western station. Amid the motley group on 
the platform stood a young creature, who seemed to be known, yet 
friendless. A tear stood in her eye. 

Une. \_Quizzing.~\ Excuse me! Wait till I get out my 
pocket-handkerchief. [Takes it out~\ 

Sp. [Reprovingly. ~] Now, uncle, this is a serious matter. 
[Takes handkerchief and replaces it in Unc.'s pocket.] I walked 
through the throng of staring idiots, straight up to the young 
girl and proffered my services. I found she was left at this place 
by a troupe of traveling performers, who had had a bad season 
and were obliged to beg their way east. This little thing was too 
haughty to beg. I bought her ticket, and seated her in the car. 

Une. No harm in that. 

Sp. [ Very impressively. ~] There is no harm in anything con- 
cerned with the matter. 

Une. Then what's your trouble ? 

Sp. My dear uncle, they say that gratitude is a rare ^virtue. 
It's as well that it is, for a more inconvenient thing I don't know. 

Une. You mean that you can't get rid of her now ? 

Sp. Vulgarly speaking, that is the difficulty ; she calls me the 
noblest of created beings — her generous preserver — her only real 
friend. 

Une. You go and see her occasionally, then ? 

Sp. I've got to go and see her. If I did not, she might pos- 
sibly come and see me. 

Une. Why not explain the situation to her ? 

Sp. To a nature so artless and unsophisticated as hers, it is 
impossible to explain the conventionalities of social life. Besides, 
she vows that if I cast her off, she will seek the cold oblivion of 
the grave and leave a letter behind, explaining my heartless 
cruelty to a sympathizing world. 

Une. My son, this young creature with the tear in her eye is 
older than she looks. What do you intend to do with her ? Or, 
rather, what do you imagine she intends to do with you ? Does 
she know your name ? 

Sp. Of course not. When she asked me my name, in order 
that she might engrave it on her heart and remember it in her 
prayers, I told her to call me Haroun al Raschid. 

tine. What did she say to that ? 
. Sp. She laughed. 

Une. Well, the thing can't go on forever. 

Sp. I had hopes of her getting an engagement somewhere out 
of town. 



10 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Unc. An engagement ? 

Sp. Yes ; you recollect I told you she belonged to a traveling 
company of show people. 

Unc. Ah ! Is she low comedy or high tragedy ? 

Sp. [Bises, comes down.'] Well, hardly. The fact is — she's 
a bare-back rider. 

Unc. [Rises, bursts out laughing.~\ Delicious ! Magnificent ! 
Circus, eh ? Houp la ! I say, this is a nice affair you've got 
into! 

Sp. And yet, I assure you, she is the gentlest, prettiest, most 
modest, lady-like and refined — 

Unc. Bare-back rider. 

John enters, r. it. d. 

John. Mrs. Weebles sends to know if you'll go and look at 
carpets with her to-day, sir. 

Sp. [Aside.] Oh, the devil ! [A loud.] Say I shall be most 
happy. [John exits, r. u. d. To Unc] It's the sixth time 
we've spent the afternoon in the carpet stores, trying to make up 
her mind about a new bedroom Brussels. [Crosses to R.] 

Unc. [Gets his hat.] I wish you joy. If she's at home, I 
won't stay to breakfast. 

Sp. [Detains him.] But in regard to the other matter, you 
must help me to dispose of this young person. 

Unc. What's her name, by the way ? 

Sp. Rosie — sweet name, eh? She's called on the bills the 
"Wild Rose of Yucatan." 

Unc. I say, you've verified the old proverb — no rose without 
a thorn, eh ? 

Sp. Will you help me ? 

Unc. I'll think it over. Be at the club to-night at nine. 
We'll talk about it. 

Sp. I mean to make an end of it, before my wife returns. 
You must see the girl — invent anything — tell her I've failed in 
business, or gone into a decline, or had an important call to 
Behring's Straits — anything to induce her to transfer her affec- 
tionate gratitude to a more appreciative person. [Sees him to 
door.] Say you will. 

Unc. [Going up, turns to Sp.] I'll make up a plan. I say, 
let me tell the story in confidence to a few friends. Eh ? No ? 
It would be a grand success. Houp la ! [Exits, c. l.] 

Sp. [r. c] Thank goodness, my wife's mother hasn't the 
faintest clue yet. She has suspicions, owing to the mystery of 
movement and the precaution I'm compelled to adopt, but, as 
yet, she has not scented the Wild Rose. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 11 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d., with a letter. 

Mrs. Weebles. Good morning, Mr. Spinkle ! [He salutes her 
brow with dutiful respect.'] Your little wife writes that she will 
stop over at Chicago a few days. 

Sp. [Assumed disappointment.'] A few days! [Aside, 
pleased.] Good ! 

Mrs. W. [r.] Fond boy ! You wish she were coming this 
very morning. 

Sp. [Absently, quickly, l.] Oh, no. 

Mrs W. [Severely.] No! I thought you missed her very 
much, Mr. Spinkle ! 

Sp. [ Quickly.] Oh, yes — I do miss her — in one sense, but in 
another sense you have made me so comfortable — made our 
home so charming — [Putting his hands on her shoulders.] 

Mrs. W. [Searchingly.] I was afraid not — you are so seldom 
in it. 

Sp. Business, you know. 

Mrs. W. You retired twelve months ago. 

Sp. Precisely — and I am still settling up. 

Mrs. W. That's all very well as far as the daytime is con- 
cerned, but your evenings are spent at the club. 

Sp. A perfectly harmless place. 

Mrs. W. At least you might be regular at dinner. I waited 
for you last night till eight. 

Sp. How often have I told you never to wait for me? 

Mrs. W. How was the opera last night ? 

Sp. [Absently.] Eh? 

Mrs. W. You said in the morning that you had been invited 
to the opera and would probably go. 

Sp. Oh, yes! It was charming! 

Mrs. W. Did you see the whole of it? 

Sp. I wouldn't lose a note. [Hums.] 

Mrs. W. And yet Lafayette says he saw you in a candy store 
at 9 o'clock buying chocolate caramels. 

Sp. [Aside.] For the Wild Rose of Yucatan! I'll choke 
Lafayette when I meet him! [Aloud.] You see, when I listen 
to music I always get dry in the throat. 

Mrs. W. But you don't sing ? 

Sp. No, but it makes me nervous to listen to others. 

Mrs. W. Take my advice, Mr. Spinkle, stay at home, that 
will cure your nerves. [Stage R.] 

Sp. I will, as soon as my wife gets back. 

Mrs. W. Ah, then you do miss her very much? 

Sp. [Ardently.] Very much. 



12 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. [Tartly."] Notwith standing all my efforts to make 
you comfortable. Thank you, Mr. Spinkle! 

Sp. [Irritated.] What in the name of goodness will satisfy 
you? When I said I didn't miss her, you froze with maternal 
indignation, and now when I say I do miss her, you boil over 
with offended vanity. Have it your own way. I'm done ! [Sits 
and begins to read newspaper, l. of c. table.] 

Mrs. W. There's no necessity for a display of temper, Mr. 
Spinkle. [Aside.] It's impossible to say ten words to that 
man without his flying in a passion. [Sits r. of table and takes 
newspaper; he turns his back on her, she ditto.] 

Sp. [Aside.] It's intolerable. She treats me as if I were 
her own husband. 

Mrs. W. [Aside.] When he wanted to marry my daughter, 
he was sweet enough. Now he's a perfect tiger. That's the way 
with all of them ! 

Lafayette enters, c. l., with light Derby hat and gay umbrella. 

Lafayette. Good morning, aunt. Good morning, Spink, old 
boy! [Puts umbrella on front end of piano.] 

Sp. [Shortly.] Morning. [.Asttfe.] That's another individ- 
ual I married with my wife. 

Mrs. W. [Sweetly J\ Good morning, Lafayette ! I'm so glad 
you've called. 

Laf. [e. c, to Sp.] We had a capital time at the club after 
you left. [To 3Irs. W.] He comes there so seldom, too. We 
miss him. 

Sp. [Nervously, coughing.] Ahem ! 

Mrs. W. [Looks up, inquiring.] He goes there so seldom ? 

Sp. [Aside, to Laf] Shut up. [Aloud.] You'll excuse me. 
I have particular business to attend to. [Starts up.] 

Laf [a] Don't you go, Cousin Spink ! I've got an import- 
ant communication to make this morning. I want your help. 
Personal and confidential. Do sit down. [Sp. sits.] I'm about 
to get married. 

Mrs. W. [Startled.] My dear Lafayette — 

Sp. I wish you joy. Now you'll know how it is yourself. 

Mrs. W. But you never told me a word about it. 

Laf. Well, I didn't know it myself till this morning. 

Mrs. W. You proposed at daybreak? 

Laf Proposed? Why, I havn't met her yet. 

Sp. [ Aside, engaged in newspaper.] Idiot ! 

Laf. I heard of her on my way down town. She's a Califor- 
nia belle, worth $40,000 a year, travelling east with an aunt; 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 13 

young, pretty, orphan, none of those abominable fathers-in-law 
and mothers-in-law. 

Sp. [Heartily — turns towards him and shakes his hand."] My 
dear fellow, I congratulate you. [ All rise. Sp. throws paper on 
l. table.] 

Mrs. W. Lafayette, what do you mean by your allusions to 
abominable mothers-in-law ? 

Laf. [Aside.] Oh Lord ! [Aloud.] My dear aunt, when 
I look about me and see how few mothers-in-law there are like 
you, I think it is a matter of congratulation if a fellow has a pros- 
pect of none. [ Crosses to r. Presses her to residue her seat] 

Sp. [To Mrs. W.] Ingenious way he has of extricating him- 
self. [Mrs. W. tosses head.] 

Laf. [r.] I've got a capital chance of an introduction. 
She'll be at the Potlucker's " At Home," this evening. You've 
got cards. I want you to go and get in with the aunt — talk me 
up, and, at the proper moment — 

Mrs. W. [Decidedly.] Ask Mr. Spinkle ! [ Crosses to r.] 

Sp. [Back of table, l.] I should be of no earthly use. 

Laf. [a] But I want you both to come. Now, my dear aunt 
— do oblige me — my whole future, you know — everything at 
stake ! 

Mrs. W. If Mr. Spinkle consents to escort me. 

Sp. To-night? 

Laf Yes, do consent — that's a lamb. 

Sp. No — you see— the fact is — 

Mrs. W. [Shrilly and decidedly.] I'm sure I seldom ask a 
favor — and, as for going out, I don't know when I've put my foot 
outside that door. The mother of your wife, of course, has no 
right to expect any courtesy or consideration from her daughter's 
husband, but if — 

Sp. [Starting up and closing his ears, going to back of writing 
table.] I'll go! I'll go! I'll go! Say no more! 

Mrs. W. [ Graciously, smiling on Laf] I'll drive to my dress- 
maker's directly. I know she can fix up my black velvet in half 
a day ; it will do very well with the damask waist. I will go at 
once. May you be happy, my dear Lafayette ; may fortune 
favor your suit ! I'll go directly ! [Exits quickly, r. u. e.] 

Laf. [ Winks and smiles at Sp.] He ! He ! 

Sp. [l., rises.] I'm exceedingly obliged for the pleasant even- 
ing you've arranged for me. 

Laf. [r., shakes hands.] Don't mention it. 

Sp. I'll do as much for you. You shall spend the day hunt- 
ing carpets with her. 

Laf To-day ? Impossible ! 



14 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Sp. Then it's impossible for me to go to the Potlucker's to- 
night. If I give you my evening, I must have my forenoon. 
Take your choice. 

Laf. [Sighs.] Well, if I must, I must. [Resolute.] I'll rush 
her through the carpets. 

Sp. [Stage, r.] You'll have a delightful time — she's so amus- 
ing. 

Laf. [Dubiously. 1 Ye — es. [They go towards door, r.] 

Sp. You must persuade her that you insisted upon taking my 
place. 

Laf. I'm in your power. 

Sp. Exactly, and when you are married, you can take it out 
of somebody else. [Exeunt, r. u. d.] 

John enters, c. l., showing in Rosie. 

John. I'll see if the gentleman of the house is at home. 

Rosie. [l. h.] You needn't. I know he is. Tell him a lady 
wishes to see him. 

John. What name, please ? 

Ros. Merely say that a lady has called to see Sultan Haroun 
al Raschid. [Crosses to r.] 

John. [Amazed.] Haroun al Raschid? 

Ros. [Sharply.] Did you hear me ? 

John. Yes, ma'am. Please step in here. [ Opens l. d.] 

Ros. [Puts parasol on c. table.] Don't keep me waiting. 
Beware! [Exits l. d.] 

Spinkle re-enters, R. u. D. 

Spinhle. Free for the day. Victoria ! 

John. Ahem ! [Points to l. door, winks and nods mysteriously^ 

Sp. Well, you idiot ! What's the matter ? 

John. Lady in there. 

Sp. A lady? Who? 

John. [Mysteriously^] Haroun al Raschid. 

Sp. [Sits suddenly in chair, dropping his left hand on piano 
keys.] What? 

John. That's the name she gave me. I put her in there for 
fear Mrs. Weebles — [ Winks and nods.] 

Sp. [Rises, indignant air.] You rascal ! What do you mean ? 
[Drops r. hand.] 

John. [Politely.] Nothing, sir. 

Sp. Get out, you lunatic! The person is very likely a mil- 
liner, or something of that sort, come to collect a bill. [ Crosses 
to l. Music] 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 15 

John. Very likely, sir. The name did have a foreign sound. 

Sp. That will do. [John exits stiffly, c] It can't be. She 
doesn't know my name, nor my address. Of course, she could 
find out both, but why ? [ Goes to l. u. e. door, opens it and 
staggers baek.~\ It is she ! 

Rosie enters, l. d.. 

Rosie. Yes, it is she. You dear, darling, old caliph ! [Rush- 
ing to him.'] What ? No greeting ? No welcome ? Arn't you 
glad to see me ? [Music stops.] 

Sp. [Looking round nervously.] How did you find the place ? 
What brought you — 

Ros. Are these my thanks for seeking you ? I thought you'd 
be delighted at such an evidence of my gratitude. What a beau- 
tiful house you've got! [Crosses to R.] What lovely furniture! 
[Sits on sofa, r.] Oh, heavenly ! 

Sp. [Aside.] She's taking a seat. What shall I do? 

Ros. How well this would look from the front ! [ Crosses.] 

Sp. My dear Miss Rose, I am sorry to disturb you, but this 
won't do. 

Ros. What won't do? 

Sp. Your presence here. 

Ros. Eh? 

Sp. How did you discover my name? 

Ros. The name of my benefactor, the only friend I have in 
this great, big city — I learned it for the sake of having it graven 
on my heart. [Rises, takes his arm.] You called yourself Haroun 
al Raschid, [Laughs] but I know he only exists in the story 
books. 

Sp. [ Aside.] Ah ! She has read the Arabian Nights, too. 

Ros. [Laughs.] I followed you and saw you come in here. 
[ Crosses to r.] I asked a party at the corner who lived in the 
house with the big garden, and he said " Mr. Spinkle." 

Sp. I am both surprised and hurt. 

Ros. Oh, don't be afraid. [ Crosses to L., turns archly to him.] 
I know you're married. 

Sp. [Sits suddenly, r. of table.] You know it ? 

Ros. Yes. Your wife's travelling out West. She won't be 
home for a day or two, or an hour or two at least ; so we'll have 
time for a quiet chat. [Jumps up.] Oh, there's a piano ! What 
shall I sing you ? [Strikes a few chords.] 

Sp. [ Who has gone r. to listen at door, darts forward and closes 

fiano, sits on lid and places his back against it] Are you mad ? 
Recovering.] The piano's out of tune — my head aches — I don't 
feel like music. 



16 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Bos. [e,.] What a funny man you are. You act as if you 
wished me in Halifax ! It's not so long ago that you called me a 
poor fluttered dove [Sp. makes a grimace and tears his hair, 
glancing timidly at door, u. p., all through the scene.'] and vowed 
to be my friend for ever and aye. I didn't understand it, but it 
sounded fair. 

Sp. [l., aside.] My d — d, nonsensical, romantic rubbish ! I 
wish I'd been shot — 

Bos. But it seems that your "ever and aye" means about 
three weeks and a half. That's how long your amiability, good- 
ness, generosity and friendship has lasted. Now, you begin to 
sheer off. [Sulkily.] 

Sp. Sheer off! 

Bos. [Wa.rmly.] But my gratitude and affection are proof 
against neglect. I have no right to feel offended. Spurn me, if 
you will ! I must be grateful to you still — " for ever and aye." 
[ Taking his hand and dropping her head on his shoulder.] 

Sp. My child, this is all very noble, but out of place — in this 
place. It would be appropriate in any other premises. But here 
I have but one thought, and that is — how soon I can get you to 
leave. [ Urging her away.] 

Bos. What are you afraid of — your wife won't come. 

Sp. But my mother-in-law will. She's in the house now. 

Bos. [Bising.] Why didn't you say so at once ? [ Crosses to 
L.] I wouldn't get you into a scrape for the world. 

Mrs. Weebles. [Outside.] Susan! 

Sp. [Listening.] There she is now ! 

Bos. [Bounding.] Good gracious ! Where's my parasol ? 

Sp. Quick ! 

Bos. I can't find it. [Bushes to door, u. u. e.] 

Sp. Not there ! 

Bos. Where? 

Sp. She's here ! 

Bos. Ah ! [Darts into room, l. h.] 

Lafayette enters, p. u. e. 

Sp. [Not perceiving who it is.] Good gracious ! 

Lafayette. Oh, you've not gone yet. I'm glad of it. I've got 
a favor to ask of you. You see I've got to trot the old lady about 
all day, and so I lose an opportunity of making a couple of hun- 
dred in Wall street. If you would oblige me with — say half 
that — 

Sp. [ Goes to l.] I'll draw you a check. 

Laf. [Follows him.] You're ever so good. I'll go with you. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 17 

Sp. If you don't stay where you are, I won't bring it. [ Go- 
ing L.] 

Laf. Oh, no, I'll go with you. 

Sp. [Shoving him away.'] Stay where you are. I'll bring it. 
[Exits, L. D.] 

Laf. He seems to be in a very generous mood. I ought to 
have asked him for five hundred. It's just my luck. But a 
hundred will carry me through a week's campaign with the Cali- 
fornia belle. Opera twice — races once — drives three afternoons. 
I can manage, with economy, on a hundred. At the end of the 
week I may have prospects to offer as collateral for another 
raise, [a] 

Spinkle re-enters with check. 

Spinhle. Here you are. [l.] 

Laf. That makes a little over a thousand I owe you — not so 
bad for two years. 

Sp. Extremely moderate. [Crosses to r. corner. ,] 

Laf. When I'm married I'll liquidate it all at once. Good- 
bye, old boy. [Takes Rose's parasol from c. table.'] I'll be back 
in ten minutes to take my dear old aunty off for a stroll among 
the Brussels and Axminsters. Bye-bye. [Exits, c. l.] 

Sp. Now, to get the Wild Rose of Yucatan out before the 
dragon has finished her toilette. [Going towards l. d., times it so 
as to get halfway as Mrs. W. enters.] 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d., in walking costume, buttoning her 

gloves. 

Mrs. Weebles. Is Lafayette gone ? 

Sp. [Meeting her and bringing her c] He'll be back in ten 
minutes. 

Mrs. W. [Passing round to l. of Sp.] Then we have time to 
discuss his prospects. 

Sp. Oh, yes. [J_m?e.] I feel very much like discussing his 
prospects ! [ Gently urging her across to r.] 

Mrs. W. [r.] Lafayette is a good fellow — a little wanting 
in balance, of course, and almost at the end of his resources. 

Sp. [Buttoning his coat.] Altogether at the end of his re- 
sources. [Crosses to R.] 

Mrs. W. We must help him to a wife. 

Sp. [Nervously glancing at door, l.] You are right — quite 
right — but, I say, you are not going out in this dress ? 

Mrs. W. Why not? 



18 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Sp. My dear mother, you will catch your death of cold. The 
weather has changed. Go and put on something else, there's a 
dear. 

Mrs. W. This is my warmest dress. 

Sp. Is it? That's the difficulty. You run about — you get 
overheated in the shops — you come out and get chilled through. 
Put on something thinner. 

Mrs. W. Then I should freeze. What are you thinking of? 
[Crosses, e.] 

Sp. [ Aside.] How to get you back into your room ! [ Whis- 
tling outside, " Fatinitza."] 

Mrs. W. [Crossing,!,.'] Who's that whistling ? 

Sp. [Aside.'] The Wild Rose. [Aloud.] It must be John. 

Mrs. W. Servants whistling through the house ! You must 
stop it. Wait, let me go. 

Sp. [Detains her, gets L.] Leave him to me — you are too 
mild with him. I will simply throw him out of the window. 
That will be equivalent to a discharge. 

Mrs. W. [e.] Whistling in a respectable house ! I warned 
him once this morning, but he don't mind me. 

Sp. I'll teach him to pay you proper respect. Now, my dear 
mamma, do let me persuade you to change your dress. 

Mrs. W. I might put on my Organdie with the purple flower. 

Sp. [Looking over his shoulder, to l.] The very thing, put on 
the purple with the Organdie flower. 

Mrs. W. I really need a new dress — I havn't actually got a 
rag fit to wear. 

Sp. Why not get what you want while you are out to-day? 
[ With feeling.] The mother of my wife must want for nothing. 

Mrs W. [Eising.] Oh, Alexander, if you were always as 
kind and considerate as this! 

Sp. Don't mention it. 

Mrs. W. I'll go at once and change my dress. 

Sp. Do, and don't hurry. [Accompanies her to door.] 

Mrs. W. You are a dear darling ! If I had Louise to give 
over again, you should have her. [Exits, e. tj. d.] 

Sp. Costly but effective strategy ! Now, then — [ Goes to L. 
and opens door, calls softly.] Miss Rose! [Timidly peeps after 
Mrs. W., ft. d.] 

Rosie enters, l., yawning, with a booh in her hand. 

Rosie. This is a jolly book. Why can't I finish it now I've 
begun it ? 

Sp. [Coming down, c] Take it with you. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 19 

Bos. [Pouts.] But I want to stay there — curled up in that 
big chair. [Indicates room, l.] 

Sp. [l.] If you lose this opportunity of getting away, you'll 
have to stay curled up all night. 

Bos. Oh, I'll go right off. [Crosses L., goes about looking for 
parasol. He follows nervously.'] Where did I leave my para- 
sol? [l.] 

Sp. I'll get you another. 

Bos. Mine had a splendid gold handle. 

Sp. I'll get you another splendid gold handle. 

Bos. [l.] With my name engraved on it ? 

Sp. [ Getting r.] Come this way. I'll have your name set 
in diamonds. Do go. 

Bos. [l., still searching.] It's miraculous for a parasol to go 
off like that. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. tj. e., down r. 

Mrs. Weebles. Susan's gone out, and there's nobody to get out 
my dress. [She and Ros. perceive each other, and stand down, r. 
and l., speechless. Sp., c, turns, sees them, makes a step forward and 
stops. Tableau. Mrs. W. to Bos.] Whom have I the honor 
to — [Ros. looks towards Sp.] 

Sp. [ Comes down.] Oh, yes — [After a moment's reflection, 
nervously trying to make up an explanation.] Didn't I tell you ? 
[To Mrs. W.] 

Mrs. W. Tell me what? 

Sp. No — I did not. I remember now, it was so unexpected 
— so sudden ! [I eels in his coat-tail pockets for his handkerchief.] 
But that's what always occurs — the unforseen. [I eels in breast- 
pocket and touches his brother's letter — a gleam lights up his coun- 
tenance.] 

Mrs. W. Why, Alexander, what is the matter with you? 
But you don't introduce the young person. 

Sp. [Draws out the letter, looks at it and smiles.] My dear 
Mrs. Weebles, you'll be astonished and delighted when I present 
to you — [Takes Bos.'s hand and leads her to Mrs. W.] My 
niece, from Marseilles. 

Mrs. W. [Ros. curtseys demurely.] Your niece from Mar- 
seilles ! 

Sp. Be good enough to read. [Hands her the letter. She puts 
up her glasses.] 

Bos. [ Crosses c, aside to Sp., as she passes.] Haroun al Raschid, 
what are you doing? 

Sp. [Aside.] It's my mother-in-law. Do as I say, or I am 
lost. 



20 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Ros. I understand. Don't be afraid, I'll get you out of it. 

Mrs. W. [Looking up.] And you have just arrived this 
morning ? 

Bos. [Curtseys.'] No, ma'am — yesterday. 

Mrs. W. Why did you not come to us immediately, my child ? 

Bos. Oh, I was afraid of putting you to inconvenience. I 
went directly to a hotel. 

Sp. [Aside.] What nonsense! [To Mrs. W.] And only 
think, she declares she has now only run in to make us a brief 
call and must be off directly. Didn't you say so, my dear ? 
[ Aside.] I've forgotten the name. [ Crosses to l.] 

Mrs. W. [Looks at letter.] Kate ! Your name is Kate ! 

Sp. So it is! Kate, Catherine, Kitty. [Pointedly to Bos.] 
Only daughter of my brother Edward, the eminent engineer, 
who is shortly to follow her. [Ros. checks off each item of infor- 
mation quietly by a nod of the head.] 

Bos. [Half laughing.] Thanks for your kind reception, my 
dear uncle. I must be going at once. [ Going up, Sp. urging 
her off.] 

Mrs. W. [Detaining her.] You shall not stir, my dear 
child. You must stay and have a chat with me ; we must be 
better acquainted. 

Sp. She can come to-morrow. [ Urging Bos. off.] 

Mrs. W. To-morrow ! Nonsense ! She must be tired, coming 
all the way up here. [Bings the bell, R.] It's strange you never 
told me to expect her. [To Sp.] 

Sp. I only received the letter this morning. Ask John. 

John enters, c. 

Mrs. W. Breakfast directly ! [John exits, c] Will you 
have coffee or chocolate? or perhaps you'd prefer a glass of wine. 

Ros. M — yes. I'll take a glass of wine first. 

Mrs. W. [Rings.] Claret, I suppose. 

Ros. Ah, the horrid stuff! No ! Port or sherry. 

Sp. [Aside.] Oh, Lord ! Wouldn't you like a glass of 
Apollinaris water ? [ Worried.] I'm afraid she's going to have 
what she calls a lark at my expense. 

John enters, c. 

Mrs. W. [r.] Port wine, John. [John exits, c] Arn't 
you afraid it will be too strong for you ? 
. Ros. Bless you, no. The stronger it is, the more I like it. 
Sp. [Stage, l.] By Jove ! 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 21 

John enters, c, with decanter and glasses and puts them on table, c. 
Mrs. W. and Ros. sit r. and l. of table. 

Mrs. W. Now, you shall tell me all about your home. 

Sp. [Aside.] I must take a hand in. [Sits at table, c, be- 
tween them, face to audience.'] I beg your pardon, ladies, but 
this interests me greatly. [Keeps his hand on the decanter which 
Ros. reaches for.] 

Mrs. W. Fill her glass, Mr. Spinkle. 

Sp. Certainly. [ Gives her a drop.] 

Ros. [ To Mrs. W.] See what a little drop uncle gives me ! 

Mrs. W. Give the child a mouthful. [Sp. reluctantly gives 
Ros. more. Mrs. W. passes her the cake and Ros. begins to eat 
and sip.] How do you find it ? 

Bos. A 1. [Eats.] 

Mrs. W. A 1 ? 

Sp. [Explaining.] An expression she has probably learned 
from her father. It is much in vogue with mathematicians and 
engineers. 

Mrs. W. [To Ros.] Do you find a great difference between 
Europe and America ? 

Sp. Of course she does. There's a difference of 3,000 miles, 
not to mention the difference in language. [Ros. holds her glass 
to John, who fills it before Sp. can prevent him ; she enjoys the 
joke.] 

Mrs. W. I suppose you live very elegantly over there ? 

Ros. M-m-m ! You should see us. We kept thirty-one 
servants, one for every day in the month. 

Sp. What do you do in February with the three extra ones ? 

Mrs. W. That's what we call extravagant. 

Ros. I don't care, I always have what I want, regardless of 
cost. [Raps with glass on table.] 

Mrs. W. I'm afraid you have been spoiled. [Presenting cake.] 
Have another piece of this ? 

Ros. Thank you very much, I don't mind having another 
glass of wine. 

Mrs. W. Mr. Spinkle ! 

Sp. [Seizing decanter.] I don't approve of young persons 
taking wine. Here, John. [Giving decanter.] 

Ros. [Holds out her glass.] Here, John. [John fills it] 

Mrs. W. Here, John. [Holds out her glass, which John 
fills.] 

Sp. Oh, go it ! go it ! Here, John. [Holds out his glass, 
which John fills.] 

Mrs. W. I see by the letter you are just ninete en, my dear 

Ros. Yes, ma'am. 



22 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. You may call me aunt, if you like. 

Bos. Yes, aunty. 

Mrs. W. I should have taken you for more than nineteen. 

Sp. South of France, you know — hot sun — brings them out 
sooner. Besides, her mother was of Spanish descent. 

Bos. From the banks of the Quadal quiver. 

Sp. Are you sure of that ? 

Bos. [Finish ing glass.'] There or thereabouts. [ Coolly rises.] 

Mrs. W. [Bises, takes c] Could we not take the dear child 
with us this evening? 

Sp. Nonsense ! She was not invited. 

Mrs. W. But the Potluckers would be charmed. 

Sp. [r., winking across at Bos.] I know Kate would not care 
for it. 

Bos. [l.] No, indeed. I'd much prefer to go to the circus. 
[l., attitude. Sp. hastily crosses to c] 

Mrs. W. [r., to Sp.] Singular taste. 

Sp. [a] Strange — not at all. The circus is much more 
fashionable than the opera on the other side. [Looks at Bos.] 
But I see she's resolved to be off. 

Bos. [l., crosses to c] Yes — I can't stay any longer. 

Mrs. W. John will see you home. Where do you stop, my 
dear? 

Sp. She can take a bob-tail car. 

Mrs. W. But she may get lost. 

Bos. Oh, I'm too cute a bird to lose myself. Good-bye, uncle, 
dear. [Going.] Good-bye, aunty. [Exits, c. l.] 

Mrs. W. [ Crosses to l.] Well, what a little madcap it is ! 
But I like your niece, Mr. Spinkle. She is so extremely 
natural. 

Sp. Extremely. 

Mrs. W. No society veneer — no varnish. 

Sp. [Down R.] You don't find it everywhere. 

Mrs. W. [Keenly.] Her father must be well off to afford to 
keep thirty-one servants. 

Sp. A millionaire! 

Mrs. W. [Same.] Any other children ? 

Sp. Only one. 

Mrs. W. She's a most charming girl. 

Lafayette enters, c. l. 

Lafayette. Now, aunt, I'm at your service. I took your 
parasol by mistake. [Hands her Bose's.] 

Mrs. W. That's not mine. [Beads name on handled] "Wild 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 23 

Rose of Yucatan." [Hands it back to Laf. with a severe look.~\ 
Why, Lafayette ! 

Laf. \_Reads.~\ " Wild Rose of Yucatan." [Sands it to Sp.] 

Sp. [r., reads.] "Wild Rose — " [Throws it on sofa, r.] 

Mrs. W. It can't belong to your niece ! 

Sp. [r., gravely^] I trust not. 

Laf. What niece? 

Mrs. W. [Takes his arm, smiling and confidentially.'] I'll tell 
you all about it. [ Crosses to Sp.] Good-bye, Alexander, I won't 
be long. [Exits with Laf., c. l.] 

Sp. Don't ! [Alone ] What a horrible deceit I've practiced ! 
Fortunately she eluded the inquiries for her address. I must in- 
vent some story to account for her sudden departure. The niece 
must disappear instantly. I'll write her at once. [Sits at l. table 
to write. Music] 

John enters, c. l., at back. 

John. Are you alone, sir ? [Mysteriously.] 
Sp. [l., at writing table.] Now what is it ? 
John. It's not my fault, sir. I don't bring 'em. 
Sp. Bring what ? 

John. The young ladies. There's another one at the door. 
Sp. [Turns up to him.] Another one? 
John. And just as good-looking as the first. 
Sp. Ask her to come in. [John exits, c. l.] I have a pre- 
sentiment ! [Jumps up, buttons his coat, crosses stage to R.] 

Kitty enters, shown in by John. She is in travelling costume and 
carries a small bag. 

Kitty. Mr. Spinkle ? [ Timidly.] 

Sp. [r.] Yes. 

Kit. [Runs and embraces him.] My dear uncle ! 

Sp. [Aside.] I thought so. 

John. Master's in luck to-day. Two nieces turned up in one 
morning. [Music stops. Exits, c. l.] 

Kit. [Laughs and holds Sp. out at arms' length.] He doesn't 
know me — actually. He doesn't recognize his own niece ! Papa 
sends you his love a thousand times over. Why, how strange 
you look, just as if you didn't know me. But I am — I'm really 
and truly your niece ! [ With a sudden burst of apprehension.] 
But perhaps you didn't get papa's letter ! 

Sp. Yes — only an hour ago, though. [Crosses to l.] 

Kit. [Puts bag on table, r.] Oh ! it's all right, then. How 



24 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

glad I am to find you out all by myself. I came straight to the 
place. How do I look ? Better than when you saw me in short 
frocks ? Am I very big, or very old ? How do you like me ? 
Tell me that, the first thing. 

Sp. [Embraces her.~\ I love you — always loved you. [ Over 
her shoulder. ~\ And if you were only three thousand miles away 
at this moment, I'd adore you. 

Kit. [Kisses him.'] And you look ever so well ! So you mar- 
ried since I saw you last ? How I long to see dear aunt and 
have her love me, too. I'll go to her on your arm, all smiles, 
then run up to hug and kiss her, and enjoy her astonishment at 
the sudden attack. Let's go at once. [Tries to drag him.'] 

Sp. Impossible, my dear. 

Kit. Why? 

Sp. In the first place, she is not here, she is out of town. 

Kit. Well, then, I must make the most of you. Let's sit 
down and have a long talk. [Takes off her hat and puts it on 
c. table.] 

Sp. [Crosses to E., aside.] The situation is becoming delight- 
ful. 

Kit. [l. of c. table.] How strange you are. 

Sjj. [e. of c. table.] My dear Kate, I must speak plainly. 
Your arrival has placed me in a very awkward position. 

Kit. I am very sorry for that. 

Sp. I mean on your account. My wife's absence leaves me, 
so to speak, without the power to offer you a home here. 

Kit. [Turns away mournfully.] I understand. 

Sp. Everything at sixes and sevens — no order — meals un- 
settled—I'm half-starved myself — neglected — in fact, quite in 
despair. 

Kit. [Recovering her brightness.] Say no more, uncle. 
Thank goodness I've been brought up to housekeeping. [Rises.'] 
I'll straighten things out for you right away, and keep them so 
till aunt gets home. [ Crossing to e.] 

Sp. [l. c] No, no, no — there's no necessity for that. I 
take my meals at my club — or a hotel restaurant. You see 
everything's upside down at home. 

Kit. [e. c, looks round.] Everything looks in the very best 
of order here. 

Sp. [l. c] Oh, yes! This room is all right. They are 
cleaning house, and have just finished this room. The others are 
chaos. Then, besides, my wife will bring some of her relatives 
home with her. You understand, my dear child ? I needn't 
explain further. So I'll have to put you in a boarding-house or 
something, for a few days. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 25 

Kit. [Stage, R., disappointed.'] In a boarding-house! oh, 
dear ! how horrid ! 

Sp. Only for a few days. After that you'll come and live 
with us. [Patting her cheek."] There's a very pleasant Summer 
resort opposite. It's just as if you were in our house. [Goes to 
window.] You see, right over there. [Struck and leaving win- 
dow hastily.] Good gracious! My mother-in-law is coming 
back. [Aside.] 

Kit. [ Going over to him.] Well, take me over there. 

Sp. You had better look at my library before you go. [Ner- 
vously, door l.] Step in ! 

Kit. [Crossing to window.] No, I'd better go at once, if I 
must. 

Sp. [Seizing her as she crosses, and brings her to e. d.] 
Yes, yes — you may find a book to amuse— I know you like to 
read. 

Kit. I can come over afterwards. 

Sp. No — now. Now's the time. [Hurries her in and locks 
door.] Just in time. 

Mrs. Weebles enters with paper, c, down r. 

Mrs. Weebles. Only think, we met a telegraph boy with this 
despatch. Louise will be here to-morrow. 

Sp. [Drops in chair, l., alarmed^] My wife ! To-morrow ! 
[Rises.] 

Mrs. W. You don't seem to be greatly delighted ! 

Sp. [Forcing.] Oh, I am, I am very much, frightfully — 
indeed. 

Mrs. W. I must get everything ready at once. [Picks up 
bag.] What's that? Your careless little niece left her satchel. 

Sp. [About to get it] I'll take it to her. 

Mrs. W. [Affably.] No. I'll keep it and frighten her — it 
will give her a little lesson on order. [J.s^e.] And learn a 
thing or two. [Looks at bag. Opens it as she goes out] Per- 
haps. [ Closes it and exits, R. u. d.] 

Sp. Fortunately it is my niece's and not the other's ! [Down 
l. and unlocks door. Music] 

John enters, c. l. 

' John. Shall I bring the young lady's trunk up here, sir ? 
Sp. [Savagely.] No, sir. [ Opens door, L.] 



26 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Kitty enters, l. 

Kitty. It's lovely. I'll read all the books in it. 

Sp. Now we'll be off. 

Kit. [Searching, ,] Where's my bag ? [ Crosses to R.] 

Sp. Oh, I'll send it over. Somebody took it by mistake. 
We are so upset here. Any valuables in it ? 

Kit. Only my diary and brushes. 

Sp. It'll turn up when they sweep. Come, my love, come. 
[Helps her on with her hat, and awkwardly puts it over her eyes.~\ 

Kit. You are the most nervous and fidgety uncle that ever 
was. 

Sp. [Hurrying her off.'] Dyspepsia, my dear. Bad cooking 
and general neglect. [Mrs. W. calls.'] There ! 

Kit. Why, you actually pull me along. 

Mrs. Weebles. [In a high voice, outside.] Susan ! Susan ! 

Sp. [Terrified.] Ha! [Hurries her off, c] Quick! 
[John shakes his head solemnly.] 



Curtain. 



ACT II. 

Scene. — Same as First Act, with the addition of floral decorations 
for the return of Mrs. Spinkle. Music. 

John enters, c, with a floral piece. Spinkle discovered at l. 

table. 

Spinkle. Put it on the piano. That will do. [John puts 
flowers on piano.] Did you place the other basket of flowers in 
Mrs. Spinkle's room, John ? 

John, [r.] Yes, sir. 

Sp. Mrs. Weebles gone out, John ? 

John. Yes, sir ; went to the depot, sir. 

Sp. Did you hear Mrs. Weebles give any — ahem — directions 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 27 

about packing her own trunks, preparatory to — ahem — leaving 
for good, John ? 

John. I heard her tell Susan to get out her things, because 
she was going to-morrow, sir. 

Sp. [Aside, relieved.'] Thank goodness ! I have only to 
keep my two nieces out of the house one day longer. [Crosses 
to R., aloud.] John ! 

John. Yes, sir. 

Sp. [r.] There are certain confidences I may have to repose 
in you, John — certain instructions I may give — which it is not 
necessary I should explain the reason for. You understand? 

John. No, sir. 

Sp. [Sharply.] What? 

John. I mean I don't understand, sir, but I shall obey, sir — 
to the letter. 

Sp. [Believed.] Very good. You see, John, a certain lady 
may call to-day. Nobody must see that person except myself. 
Now you comprehend? 

John. Rely on me, sir. [ Crosses to r.] 

Sp. I shall, John. [Crosses to l.] John, you may go. 

John. Master knows a man of honor when he sees one. I 
shall keep the secret like the spoons — locked in my own pantry 
— I mean my bosom. [Exits, r. u. d.] 

Sp. [Cheerfully.] My wife's mother goes to-morrow. After 
to-morrow I can cease to be a monster of secrecy and dissimula- 
tion, and breathe the air of freedom and innocence. My poor 
niece ! Poor Kitty ! I'll go to her at once, and tell her that 
after to-morrow my house is her home. [ Comes down to window 
and looks out] There she is, at the window of her lodgings ! 
How lovely and amiable she looks ! [Music] 

John enters, r. u. d. 

John. Mr. Spinkle! Mr. Spinkle! They're coming! Mrs. 
Spinkle is coming ! The ladies are here, sir ! [Exits, c. l.] 

Sp. [a] How glad I am to see my precious little wife once 
more. 

Stage r. John and Susan enter with bundles and packages, and 
exeunt, l. Afterwards re-enter, l., cross to c, and exeunt, 
c. l. Louise enters, c. 

Sp. [Embraces her.] My darling! Welcome a thousand 
times. [Music stops.] 

Louise, [l., rushes to him and embraces him.] How glad I 
am to see you again ! A thousand times over and over ! 



28 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, c. l., and goes directly to l. window. 

Mrs. Weebles. Now we'll see where lie goes, Louise. 

Lou. [Runs to window, l.] There he is ! There ! As sure 
as I live ! 

Sp. [Crosses to Lou.~] Now, what in the name of common 
sense — [Goes to window and tries to kiss and embrace Louise 
again.'] 

Mrs. W. [Pulling him away, sharply.'] Time enought for that 
nonsense ! There he is, Louise! Going into the boarding-house! 
Actually going into the boarding-house opposite ! Well, that 
beats all! 

Sp. [a] I certainly think my wife might pay a little more 
attention, at this moment, to her husband, than to the lodger 
across the street. 

Lou. [l., crosses to him.] You dear ducky, you are ever so 
right. [Kisses him.] There! 

Sp. [Holds her ojf. adm iringly.] You are a hundred times pret- 
tier than when I saw you last — if that were possible. 

Mrs. TT. [Severely.] You are entirely mistaken, Mr. Spinkle, 
the poor child is pale with fright. 

Sp. Pale with flight ? What fright ? What has frightened 
her ? 

Mrs. TT. [l.] You had better ask who has frightened her ? 
The man who has just gone into the house ojDposite — and who 
has dogged her to your very door, Mr. Spinkle ! 

Lou. [Grosses to him — nestling io him.] Yes, indeed! 

Sp. Sit down, dear, and let me hear about this. [Puts her on 
sofa,] 

Lou. [r.] I observed him for the first time day before yes- 
terday, at the hotel in Chicago, where I took breakfast. He sat 
at the same table and stared me completely out of countenance. 

Mrs. W. [l., seated l. of table.] Do you hear, Mr. Spinkle? 
Stared her completely out of countenance. 

Lou. He beset me with the most embarrassing attentions — 
handed me the salt, the pepper, the butter, the syrup, a fork, the 
rolls and two spoons. 

Mrs. TT. You hear, Mr. Sprinkle — the salt, the pepper, the 
mustard — 

Lou. No, ma — the butter. 

Mrs. W. It's the same thing, Louise. 

Sp. [a] The butter is a very different thing from the mus- 
tard. Continue, my dear. 

Lou. He seemed anxious to render himself agreeable to me 
in every way. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 29 

Sp. And finally accosted you ? 

Lou. No. To do him justice, he never attempted to address 
a word to me ; but when I rose from the table, he rose. 

Mrs. W. [ Triumphant, to Sp.~] He rose ! 

Sp. Well, I don't see anything very dreadful in that. 

Mrs. W. Just wait and hear what follows. 

Lou. From that time he followed me like my shadow. 

Mrs. W. [Half weeping. ~\ Like her shadow ! My poor 
child ! 

Sp. Go on — the rest. 

Lou. I found him at every turn, gazing at me with intensity. 
In the street — in the horse cars — in the shops — everywhere. 

Mrs. W. Everywhere ! 

Sp. Nobody can prevent that — go on. 

Lou. When I bought my tickets for New York, he bought 
tickets for New York. 

Mrs. W. He bought tickets ! 

Sp. He bought tickets because he didn't have a pass, I sup- 
pose ; and when you got on the train, he followed you into the 
same car? 

Lou. No. To do him justice, he did not attempt to come in 
the same car with me. But when I arrived at the depot in New 
York — there he was. 

Mrs. W. There he was ! 

Sp. There he naturally would be — since he had bought his 
ticket. I don't see anything very dreadful, so far. 

Mrs. W. Nothing very dreadful, so far ! I suppose you would 
have gone as far as that yourself! 

Sp. I would — if I had bought a ticket. 

Mrs. W. Nothing extraordinary for a lady to find herself 
followed by a man for nine hundred and fifty miles ! Nothing 
extraordinary, Mr. Spinkle? 

Sp. Well, my love, did he make himself disagreeable in any 
way? 

Lou. Far from it. I dropped my handkerchief at the depot, 
and he picked it up and handed it to me instantly. 

Sp. With his card in it — or a note ? 

Lou. No, indeed. 

Mrs. W. [Rises.'] A pretty school you've been to, Mr. 
Spinkle ! A pretty experience you must have had ! 

Lou. He only followed me from the depot here. 
' Sp. Well? 

Lou. [l.] That's all. [Goes to window, l.] 

Sp. [Relieved — crosses to her.~\ Is that all ? It's not so bad 
then, after all. 



30 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. [r., rising^] What more would you have him do ? 
I declare, it's enough to drive me mad ! 

Sp. [a] I have nothing to take the man to task for. He 
was not insolent or impudent. 

Lou. [l.] Not at all. 

Mrs. W. With your principles, Mr. Spinkle, I shouldn't 
wonder if you considered the person, on the whole, rather praise- 
worthy than otherwise. 

Sp. [To Lou.'] At all events, you have nothing more to fear, 
my love. You are in your own home now, and under my pro- 
tection. [Kisses her.] 

Mrs. W. [Between them, drawing Lou. away.] Do let the 
poor child get her things off, and rest after her fatigue, Mr. 
Spinkle. Come to your room, my love, I have so much to talk 
about. 

Lou. [Crosses to Sp. — laughingly.] I won't be long — you are 
not angry with me ? 

Sp. Angry, my pet? Never! [About to kiss her.] 

Mrs. W. [Draws her off.] Come, my love. [Exits with 

LOU., R. U. D.] 

Sp. [Alone. Music] It was an odd thing, but — pshaw ! — I 
don't wonder a man liked to look at so pretty a woman ! And 
she is pretty ! Oh, no, I can't blame him for that. [ Crosses to 
window.] Kate is there still — she looks this way— she sees me 
and smiles a good morning ! [Smiles, nods, and kisses his hand 
to her.] Good morning, my dear. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d., and perceives his signs. 

Mrs. Weebles. What's he doing? Who's he bowing to? 
[Aside.] 

Sp. [Talking to Kate.] I'll be over soon. [Nods and smiles.] 

Mrs. W. [ Comes behind him softly and looks.] A young girl, 
as I'm a breathing woman ! 

Sp. [Nods, kisses his hand, closes window, turns and confronts 
Mrs. W., at first dumbfounded, he recovers.] Excuse my back, my 
dear madam. 

Mrs. W. [Music stops, stage r.] Don't mind me, Mr. 
Spinkle — pray don't mind me. 

Sp. [Sweetly.] Have you just come back, mamma dear ? 

Mrs. W. [Viciously.] No, sir. I came in while you were 
telegraphing across the street. 

Sp. Oh ! [ Turning away.] 

Mrs. W. The responses to your salutations were exceedingly 
friendly. May I ask who it is ? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 31 

Sp. \_Aside.~\ I can't bring out another niece. [Aloud.] It 
was a young lady, opposite. 

Mrs. W. Oh, I saw as much myself. 

Sp. [Embarrassed and hesitating .] She looked over with such 
a smile — such an innocent smile — I greeted her as pleasantly and 
as innocently. You know how such things happen, yourself. 

Mrs. W. Sir ! Yes, with young boys — or young, impertinent 
fellows — but not with married men, Mr. Spinkle. 

Sp. You are right — quite right — it was entirely inexcusable. 
I'll close the curtains, to prevent any recurrence of the circum- 
stance. [Crosses, l.] 

Mrs. W. [Aside.] We'll investigate you, sir — later. 

Lafayette enters, c. l. 

Lafayette. Aunty, good morning — how do you feel after the 
party ? You look as fresh as a daisy. 

Sp. [l., sotte voce, humming.'] " She's a daisy." 

Mrs.W. [Sharply.] What's that? 

Sp. [l.] I merely echo Lafayette's compliment. 

Mrs. W. [r.] A very distant echo. [To Laf.~] And how is 
our love affair progressing ? 

Laf. [a] I have made a decided impression, of course — but 
I'm afraid it's a waste of time. 

Mrs. W. You may not get her? 

Laf. I may not want her. You know her forty thousand a 
year? [To Sp.] 

Sp. Well. 

Laf. Well, it turns out to be her capital. Forty thousand's 
all she's got in the world. That's not enough for two, you know. 

Sp. [l.] Then you propose to pull up ? 

Laf Yes — to draw off. 

Mrs. W. To back out? 

Sp. I say, Lafayette — you have a deal of sentiment in your 
nature — a warmth as it were — an unselfish, uncalculating, impul- 
sive heart. 

Laf. [Innocently.] Do you think so ? I did go it blind at 
first, to be sure, but I'm so very confiding. [ Grosses r.] Yes. 

Mrs. W. [Suddenly, to Sp., crossing c] By the way, as I was 
going down in the car, I saw your niece. 

Sp. [Serious, l.] Oh — you did ? 

• Mrs. W. She looked charming. I stopped the car, got out 
and spoke to her. She had on the sweetest little hat I ever saw. 
I made her promise to lunch with us, to-day. 

Sp. Lunch with us ! Here ? 



32 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. Where would she lunch with us ? 

Sp. [Aside.] What a diabolical chance! My wife must not 
see her. I can't pass her off there ! Poor Louise ! I must get 
her out of the house before the other one comes. What shall I 
invent ? [Slaps his forehead.'] Let me think ! [Exits, r. u. d.] 

Mrs. W. [Smiling, with importance to Laf] Lafayette, I've 
been planning some good fortune for you. 

Laf [e.] For me ? 

Mrs. W. You remember my telling you about his niece ? 

Laf. Just landed — 

Mrs. W. There's the match for you. An only daughter — 
and a fortune simply colossal. 

Laf. I say — are you sure of the fortune ? These things don't 
pan out on investigation. 

Mrs. W. This is positive — and she's a most lovely creature — 
a little emancipated in sentiment and ideas, perhaps, but her 
heart is in the right place. 

Laf. Oh — if her heart is in the right place — [ Crosses, l.] 
Where is it ? — I mean where is she ? 

Mrs. W. Stay to lunch, she will be here. 

Laf. [l.] I guess I'd better dress, eh? You know the first 
impression is everything 

Mrs. W. No, no. You'll do well enough. Besides, I want 
your assistance in another matter. Promise me to be as secret 
as the grave. 

Laf. It's a very grave secret then ? 

Mrs. W. [Mysteriously and catching his arm.'] I surprised Mr. 
Spinkle communicating with a person at the window opposite. 

Laf. What of that? 

Mrs. W. [With a shriek] What of that? Oh, I forgot to 
tell you — it was a young lady. 

Laf. Horrible! He! he! 

Mrs. W. It is my duty to watch over my daughter's happi- 
ness. You must discover who and what this young person is ! 
[Laf. goes to window and peeps out.] Is she there? 

Laf. [Hooks up curtains^] Sitting at the window reading. 

Mrs. W. The same. But remember — silence, secrecy and 
discretion. As soon as you get any information, come to me. 
[Exits, r. u. D.] 

Laf. There she is! By Jove, she's pretty! Now she raises 
her head. She looks this way. [ Twists his moustache.] Ahem ! 
[Nods, smiles, etc.] 

Spinkle enters R. lower door, and sees him. 

Spinkle. What are you doing there? 






AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 33 

Laf. [ Turns.'] Oh, nothing — merely — that's a deuced pretty- 
girl over there. 

Sp. [Crosses and closes curtains.'] I'm surprised at you! 
What will the lady think of us? This is my house, sir, my 
house — and I must be careful to — to — 

Laf. Let nobody look at her but yourself, eh ? {Pokes him.] 
I say — who is she ? 

Sp. [Crosses to r.] It is a matter of indifference to me, sir, 
who she is. Some boarder, some sempstress, or something. I 
believe you have not seen Mrs. Spinkle yet. Your cousin has 
just arrived. 

Laf. Let's go at once. [ Takes Sp.'s arm.] 

Sp. With pleasure. [Going.] I shall not mention this 
matter to my wife, but don't let it occur again. [Exeunt, r. u. d.] 

John enters, c. l. ; showing in Herbert. 

John. Name, please. 

Herbert. [Looks around.] I wish to see the gentleman whose 
wife arrived this morning. 

John. Mr. Spinkle 's wife came home to-day. 

Herb. Mr. Spinkle ? Well, say to Mr. Spinkle that I entreat 
a private interview with him on a matter of delicacy and im- 
portance. 

John. [Aside.] Private interview ? This must be the person 
master expected. " Delicacy and importance ! " Must be the 
person ! 

Herb. [Music] Well, sir, have you considered me suffi- 
ciently ? 

John. Please step this way, sir. [ Opens door, l.] 1 In here, 
sir! [Herb, enters, l., and John locks the door.] I guess he 
won't see anybody till master gets to him. That's done ! 

Kitty enters, c. l., John looks at her aghast. 

Kitty. Why, my good man, you seem quite overcome! Is 
Mr. Spinkle at home? I wish to see him. [Music stops.] 

John. [Aside.] Here's another one! [JUowd] I don't 
know if you can see him, Miss — 

Kit. [Sits, e., takes off hat and cloak.] Oh, very well, I'll 
wait ; there's no hurry. What's your name ? 

John. My name is John, Miss. 

Kit. Well, John, my uncle tells me he is greatly neglected. 

John. Bv me, Miss? 
3 



34 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Kit. Oh, no, not by you particularly; what servants have 
you in the house? 

John. Servants? There's cook, Miss, and Susan, and the 
kitchen gal. 

Kit. Send them here! or, rather, send Susan up. I'll go to 
the kitchen myself. [Bises.] 

John. Yes, Miss. [Crosses to c, aside, going.] What's all 
this I wonder? Well, master must look out for himself. I can't 
lock up no more of 'em. [Exits, e. u. d.] 

Kit. Poor uncle! He shan't have to take his meals in a 
restaurant any longer. But we'll begin the reform with one at a 
time. [Stage, l.] 

Susan enters, c. r. 

Susan. You wish to see me, marm? 

Kit. Are you the chambermaid? 

Susan, [r., independent.'] Yes, ma'am! What do you wish ? 

Kit. I am Mr. Spinkle's niece, and what I wish is to get this 
house in order. 

Susan. I should think everything was in order now. 

Kit. My uncle is of a different opinion. As the mistress of 
the house is not here, thiugs have to take care of themselves. 
[Turns away.] 

Susan. I beg your pardon, ma'am! Things do not have to 
take care of themselves, and Mrs. Spinkle is here. 

Kit. [Starts, overjoyed.] My aunt has returned? [Crosses 

to E.] 

Susan. Mrs. Spinkle has just got in, ma'am. 

Kit. Then we'll give her a little surprise ! We'll have the 
kitchen in apple-pie order directly. Lend me your apron, Susan. 
You can get another. [ Crosses to l.] 

Susan. [Catching her spirit] Yes, ma'am. [Unties her 
apron and ties it on Kit] But I say, ma'am, our cook's got an 
awful temper. 

Kit. All cooks have awful tempers, Susan. That's how I get 
along with them so well. Don't come down while I'm there. 
I'll go into the cage by myself. Get the linen closet ready for 
my inspection, Susan ; I'll show you a little " old country " house- 
keeping before you're an hour older, [r.] 

Susan. [Aside.] Well, she's a queer one, but I bet she un- 
derstands her bus'ness. [Exits, r. u. d.] 

Kit. I wonder if the cook is much bigger than I am. [Her- 
bert knocks at door, l.] Who's in there ?, 

Herbert. [Inside.] I'm locked in. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 35 

Kit. Somebody locked in! Why, the key's in the door. 
[ Turns it.'] 

Herbert enters, l., puts hat on chair, end of piano. 

Herbert. I beg pardon. The man locked me in by mistake, 
I suppose, and afterwards forgot me. [ Crosses to R.] 

Kit. [l.] Do you — do you — belong here? [Aside.'] I 
wonder if he's a relation. 

Herb. Do I belong here? Don't you? 

Kit. No, I am a stranger. 

Herb. Oh, you've just come, I suppose. 

Kit. Yes, I've just come. 

Herb. A new chambermaid or something. 

Kit. Chambermaid ! [Looks at apron.] I see. No, I'm not 
a new chambermaid. I'm a new niece. [Takes off apron.] 

Herb. [Quickly.] Niece of the lady who got home this 
morning? 

Kit. She is "my aunt. 

Herb. How fortunate ! Then you will say a good word for 
me! 

Kit. I should be very glad to, but I don't know her. 

Herb. [Crosses to l.] Don't know your aunt? [J.side.] 
This is a singular family. 

Kit [Indicating seat] But I intend to make her acquaint- 
ance. May I ask what you wish me to say to her ? 

Herb. [Sits l. of c. table.] You won't think the less of me, 
I hope, when I tell you I am an artist. I have composed a 
great picture — a study of the female beauties of the Arabian 
Nights — nineteen faces are completed — the twentieth is wanting. 

Kit. [r.] Oh, you want somebody to paint the twentieth 
for you? 

Herb, [l.] No. I want somebody to sit for it. I have had 
an ideal — in my painter's dream world — I saw a face that 
haunted my visions. One day it came on earth, took shape and 
stood before me. I saw it in flesh and blood — the ideal ! the 
radiant vision ! I said to myself, I must have it — the missing 
face is there — [Snaps his fingers.] my picture is finished. 

Kit. [Rises — forward.] It must have been a great load off 
your mind. 

Herb. The lady was alone — it was at a hotel — I dared not 
address her — but I followed her to ascertain where she lived — I 
said to myself: she must have a husband, or a brother, or a 
father, or an uncle, or somebody. 

Kit. It was a reasonable anticipation. 



36 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Herb. I learned at last that she is a Mrs Spinkle, and that 
there is a Mr. Spinkle. I shall address myself to him. 

Kit. That's easily arranged. 

Herb. But I am so diffident — so bashful — if you will help 
me. 

Kit. With pleasure. 

Herb. [Looks at her steadfast — hands in pockets, then changes 
his position.'] Pardon me — you have a beautiful head. 

Kit. [Laughing.] That's not so bad for such an extremely 
bashful young man. 

Herb. There ! Stand just in that position ! Don't move ! 
Exquisite ! And yet your figure does not match — you should be 
larger — rounder ! 

Kit. Pray don't mind me — go on. 

Herb. And your hair should be darker. 

Kit. [Smiling.] Oh, I know my imperfections. I am really 
a quite insignificant person. 

Herb. [Patronizing.] By no means — that is, not in my eyes; 
for you can assist me with your uncle. 

Kit. [Aside.] Well — such coolness. [ Crosses to e.] 

Herb. [Fervently, takes her hand.] May I count on your 
help? Say yes — do say yes — may I call and get your answer? 

Kit. You may if you like — that is — of course — at least — I 
have no objection. 

Herb. [Following her to E. corner and impressively kisses her 
hands.] I can never repay you. [Goes up, takes hat from chair 
near piano, and ]?auses.] Yes — you might be — rounder. [Fxits, 

C. L.] 

Kit. And he calls himself the diffident and bashful young 
man ! If he got the other nineteen sitters the same way, they 
must present a collection of very much astonished females. 
He's driven the cook out of my head. No use in beginning 
now. [Crosses to L.] 

Louise enters, e. u. e., carrying a small cigar case. 

Louise. I stole away from them to make up my little sur- 
prise. How glad he will be to find this gift from me in his 
desk ! [Sees Kit] Who is this ? 

Kit. [Aside.] It must be my aunt. [Buns to her.] Dear, 
good aunt Louise, may I hope to gain a little corner in your 
kind heart ? [Advances.] 

Lou. [r.] Why, then you are the niece mamma has told me 
so much about ? 

Kit. [l.] Yes, I am she. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 37 

Lou. [Kisses her.~\ Why did they not send you in to me at 
once? 

Kit. I did not know you had arrived. 

Lou. I am prepared to love you at first sight, Kate. 

Kit. Just think, I was going down into the kitchen to wake 
up the cook and take her to task for neglecting uncle. He tells 
a most dismal story of his sufferings during your absence. 

Lou. Indeed ! 

Kit. But now you are back, the sun shines out again. 

Lou. [Both crossing to R., arm-in-arm.'] Come to my room. 
We are all there, and you can begin to settle down with us at 
once. 

Kit. [r.] I must put on something else. I ran over with this 
dress to engage the servants in single combat. [Putting on hat.'] 

Lou. [Come, there are no strangers — Cousin Lafayette is the 
only person — 

Kit. [ Crossing and up during speech, turns to kiss her.] Then 
I must fix up a bit for him, of course. I'll be back soon. 
[Crosses to c, kisses her.] Oh, I was so fearful you mightn't 
take to me. I was, indeed. 

Lou. [r.] I've taken to you already. Now hurry back. 

Kit. In five minutes. [Exits, c. l.] 

Lou. Now to put this in his desk. [Approaches desk, l,] 

Spinkle, Lafayette and Mrs. Weebles enter, r. u. d. She 
stops as she sees them. 

Lou. There ! You found me out ! 

Sp. Found you out in what, my love ? 

Lou. [l.] In this. 

Sp. A cigar case ! 

Lou. For you ! I bought it in San Francisco myself, and 
chose it out of a — [ They go up together.] 

Sp. [Patting his arm round her waist] My own darling! 
[They converse up stage,] 

Laf. [Down c, with Mrs. W.] I understand! I drop in as 
if by accident. 

Mrs. W. [r. c] Just before lunch — and, after a while, I'll 
manage to leave you alone with the heiress. She's particularly 
fond of a glass of wine — her French education. I'll send some 
up. There, be off with you ! She'll be here directly ! 

Laf. Aunt, you are an angel. [Going.] Bye-bye, auntie — 
bye-bye, cousin — bye-bye, Spinkle! Bye-bye everybody! 
[Exits, c] 

Sp. [Down C.j arm around Lou's waist.] My darling ! 



38 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. I suppose you are auxious to see your niece, my love. 
She'll soon be here. 

Sp. [l., aside.'] And I must get my wife away before she 
comes. 

Lou. [a] Oh, I have seen her. 

Sp. You have — 

Mrs. W. [r., disappointed.'] She was here and went away 
again ? How unfortunate ! 

Lou. No, she'll be back in a little while. 

Mrs. W. How do you like her ? [Sits on sofa, r., with Lou.] 

Loa. Very much. She is all nature and innocence. 

Mrs. W. A little want of dignity. 

Lou. I did not observe that. 

Mrs. W. But full of energy. 

Lou. Oh, yes. [To Sp.] ^*How old is Kate ? 

Sp. Eh, Kate? Oh, ah! You are quite right. Her name 
is Kate. 

Mrs. W. Louise asks you how old she is. 

Sp. [Sits, r. c] ^Vhy, you see — time passes very rapidly — 
with persons at a distance. Originally she was quite small — very. 
Now she is grown — much. [Aside, rises.] I wonder which 
niece she has seen. I must take her out of this. [Aloud.] My 
darling, I have a little excursion to propose — for an hour. 

Lou. Xow? [Rises and crosses to him. Mrs. W. restrains 
her.] 

Mrs. W. The child is not recovered from her fatigue yet. 

Sp. [Aside.] Another expensive but effectual ruse must be 
resorted to. [To Lou.] My darling! [Leading her aside and 
confidentially.] I had intended a little surprise for you — in fact 
I ordered the articles — but, at the last moment I directed Tif- 
fany to keep them until I brought you to make the choice 
yourself. 

Lou. [l. c, rapturously.] Something at Tiffany's for me ! 
Not the solitaires I used to loDg for ? 

Sp. [Smiling.] Sh ! Perhaps. 

Lou. [To Mrs. W.] Oh, I must go directly. 

Sp. [-L., aside.] I wonder if Haroun al Raschid had to take 
his favorite Sultana to the Arabian Tiffany's, after every noctur- 
nal adventure? 

Mrs. W. Isn't there time enough to-morrow ? 

Lou. Xo, indeed ! "We must go to-day, mustn't we, dearest ? 

/Sp. Instantly darlingest ! Get your hat on at once. 

Lou. Oh, you duck! [Rushes at him, taJces his head betiveen 
her hands and kisses him.] Come, mamma ! [Darts off, R. u. D., 
followed by Mrs. W., sullenly.] 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 39 

Sp. [Touches bell.'] I must write a line to give Kosie when 
she returns! If it was Rosie. [Takes out pocket-book, tears out 
leaf and scratches a line.] 

John enters, r. u. d., going c. 

Sp. You rascal, come here! Did I not expressly tell you 
that that person must see no one but myself? 

John, [l.] I locked him in your room, sir. 

Sp. Locked him in my room ? Him ! Whom ? 

John. The gentleman, sir — then the lady must have let him 
out. 

Sp. What lady, idiot? 

John. [Confidentially^] One of them as came yesterday, sir. 

Sp. Ah! Which of them? Which— that's the point— 
which ? 

John. Which, sir ? Why the one with the lovely, sweet ex- 
pression, sir. 

Sp. [ Crosses, r., aside.] If I only knew what kind of taste the 
rascal has ! [J./W<i.] Was it the first one, John, or the last 
one? 

John. [ Winks.] The last one, sir. 

Sp. [Writing in book, aside.] Then it was the real Kate, 
after all. Thank goodness my wife met the right niece. [To 
John.] If the other one comes — give her this — quietly— you un- 
derstand ! [ Gives note.] 

John. Yes, sir — trust me. [Exits, c. l.] 

Louise enters, r. u. e., with hat on. 

Louise. Here I am. 

Sp. [Takes hat and cane.] And here we go. 

Lou. We'll take the elevated. 

Sp. To get there sooner ! Now we're off! 

Exeunt, arm-in-arm., c. l., as Mrs. Weebles enters, r. 

Mrs. Weebles. Never mind, my fine gentleman ! You thwart 
me in every way, but if I get the information I'm after — and that 
creature across the way turns out to be an old acquaintance — I'll 
make you dance to my tune as long as you live. [Down l. 
Music] 

John enters, c. l. 

John. Young lady asking for you, ma'am. Came in a 'ack, 
just as master and missis turned the corner. 



40 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Rosie enters, c. l. 

Rosie. Here we are again. 

Mrs. W. [Receives her with open arms and hisses her.~] Ah ! 
My love ! Take off your things ! We must be company for each 
other to-day. My son-in-law has just gone out with my daughter. 
But we will have a good time all by ourselves. Make yourself 
at home. I have an order to give. John, follow me! [Exits, 
c. r. Music stops.'] 

John. [Down r.] Pst! Pst! 

Bos. [l.] Well, donkey! 

John. From Mr. Spinkle! [ Gives paper.] 

Ros. Very well. [Puts paper in her pocket. Aside.] I sup- 
pose I ought not to have come! But I couldn't get out of it. 

John. [Nods and ivinlcs.] You are to read it immejitly — ini- 
mejitly! 

Ros. [Reads.] " Make your visit as short as possible. Make 
some excuse to leave at once. Haroun al Raschid." 

John. Any answer, miss? 

Ros. [Crosses to r., shrugs her shoulders.] No. Give Mr. 
Spinkle my best regards, John. 

John. All right, miss. [ Going.] 

Meets Mrs. Weebles, who enters, c. r., with needlework and 
package of colored vmrsted. 

Mrs. Weebles. [In temper^] Go down stairs directly. Susan 
will give you my orders. [John exits, c] They don't mind one 
word I say. [To Ros., smiling.] Now, we can settle down com- 
fortably. 

Ros. Yes. [.Asicfe.] Until I can get a chance to bolt! 

Mrs. W. You were walking with some young ladies when I 
met you this morning. [Crosses to r.] 

Ros. Some acquaintances I made coming over. 

Mrs. W. [Arranging worsted.] You must be very careful. 
Make no friends here without consulting some of us. It takes us 
old inhabitants to know the right sort of people from the wrong 
sort of people. 

Ros. So it does. 

Mrs. W. Now, tell me all about your papa. [Both sit.] Is 
he coming over very soon? I suppose he has a great deal of 
property, hasn't he, my love ? 

Ros. Well, you see, auntie — [ Checks herself.] 

Mrs. W. That's right, darling. [Kisses her.] 

Ros. You see I never spoke to him about his property, but 
I've understood that he owns — oh — lots upon lots — 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 41 

Mrs. W. Of what? 

Ros. Everything. 

Mrs. W. His estate is immense, then ? 

Ros. Immense. 

Mrs. W. [Taking Kit's little satchel out of her work-basket.'] 
Apropos ! You forgot your satchel yesterday. 

Ros. My satchel ? 

Mrs. W. Containing your diary. I confess I read a little 
of it. 

Ros. You did? 

Mrs. W. It was very indiscreet of me, but I knew there was 
nothing in it you would object to my seeing. 

Ros. Certainly not. 

Mrs. W. The sentiments expressed here are charming. 

Ros. Are they? I wonder what they are ! [J.sic?e.] 

Mrs. W. Only a little gushing. 

Ros. It's because the ship rolled so. 

John enters, c, announcing: 

John. Mr. Lafayette Moodle. 

Ros. [Rising.] A visitor ! I must go ! 

Mrs. W. \_Rises, crosses to c] Only a relation of ours. A 
very nice young man. You'll see him here pretty often. [Gets 
l. of Ros.] 

Lafayette enters, c. l. 

Lafayette. Dear aunt. [Pauses as if surprised.] I thought 
you were alone. 

Mrs. W. [a, introduces.] Mr. Lafayette Moodle — Miss 
Kate Spinkle, my son-in-law's niece. 

Laf. [r., crosses to c] I've heard so much of Miss Spinkle, 
and her adventurous journey across the ocean, alone! Pray, 
don't let me disturb you, ladies. [Aside to Mrs. W.] She'll do. 

Mrs. W. [Aside to Laf] And her fortune is immense. She 
told me all about it. I'll leave you together, [^liottd.] I must 
look after luncheon, my dear. [Crosses. Aside to Ros.] There 
isn't such another young man in the United States. You must 
like him. [Kisses her and exits, r. d., but through the ensuing 
scene she occasionally peeps out at them from r. Laf. follows her 
to door.] 

Ros. [Aside.] I think I've seen something like him before, 
on the front row of the orchestra. [Stage L., and back to R.] 

Laf. [Advancing.] You'll have to put up with me for a 
little while. Will that be hard ? 



42 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Ros. Oh, I rather prefer a young gentleman to an old lady, 
for company — any time. [$tte.] 

Laf. [Crosses to r., sits.'] Do you, now? How innocent! 
Aunt has told me all about you. She says you'll astonish me. 
You ain't a bit like a young lady. 

JRos. [Starting.'] That's a nice thing to tell me to my face. 

Laf. I mean your manners are altogether your own. 

Ros. [N.ettled.] So are yours. There, now. 

Laf. She said you were a sunbeam. I find you a whole sun. 

Ros. That's something like. If you want to please me, you 
must talk right along in that style. [Puts hand on basket] 

Laf. Delicious frankness ! I'm an oddity myself. [Titters.] 
We'll get along splendidly. [Takes her hand.] What a little 
hand. 

Ros. Five and three-quarters. 

Laf. Alexandre's ? 

Ros. Anybody's. 

Laf. [Takes up worsted.] Are you doing that work? I 
would like to see you work with those little fingers. 

Ros. My little fingers don't want to work. 

Laf. Let me see you unwind it. 

Ros. The colors might come off on my gloves. Gloves cost 
money. 

Laf. Do ! Won't you ? 

Ros. What do you want to set me at this job for ? I thought 
young gentlemen talked in this country. 

Laf. So they do — while the young ladies work. 

Ros. I don't work. There are cart-horses and there are race- 
horses. 

Laf. Very forcibly put. 

Ros. You like a dashing, spirited racer better than an old, 
heavy hack, don't you ? 

Laf. But see how easy it is. [ JJnwinding worsted.] 

Ros. You don't look much like a racer. 

Laf. Do I look like a cart-horse, eh ? [Titters.] 

Ros. [Puts handkerchief to her mouth, laughing.] Not with 
that harness on. 

Laf. I say, call me cousin. We are cousins, you know. 

Ros. Are we ? 

Laf. Yes. Do you like the relationship, or is there anything 
else you'd like better? [ Tenderly.] 

Ros. [Rises, down e.] I don't know — what have you got in 
the house? I'm precious hungry. When will it be lunch time? 

Laf [Rings bell, rises and crosses to c] Right away. [Aside.] 
Auntie's idea is the right one. She's practical. No nonsense 
about her. [ Getting c] 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 43 

John enters with waiter, champagne, bottle open, and glasses, and 
puts them on table, C, then stands back to wait. 

Laf. You like the good things of life, don't you? 

Ros. Don't I! In the first place, I hate walking; I love 
to ride. Then I like to sleep late in the morning, [r.] 

Laf. So do I. . 

Ros. And to sit up late at night. 

Laf. So do I. He! he! 

Ros. I hate bores — and I adore everybody that laughs — -jokes 
and says funny things. 

Laf I'm full of anecdote. I buy all the comic papers and 
study the jokes. 

Ros. In the Winter, I love a big city full of life. In the 
Summer, I love the country — with plenty of company. 

Laf. Oh, how happy a fellow would be with such a wife. 

Ros. [Aside^] Aha! [Crosses to r.] That's the way the 
wind blows. [John, at a sign from Laf, pours out glasses.'] 
Don't it look pretty ! There — it'll run over. \_Drinks it off at 
a swallow.'] Um — m — m! Nice! [Both seated.] 

Laf. {Follows her example.] With our congeniality of senti- 
ment, we would make a capital match — wouldn't we? 

Ros. You mean, hitched together — as a team ? 

Laf. [Aside.] She's decidedly fond of hippodromic com- 
parisons. \_Aloud.] Yes — how would we do in double har- 
ness? 

Ros. Do ? We'd run away and knock things to pieces. 

Laf. Delicious. [ Gets closer.] 

Ros. [Holding glass.] Just pour me in some more, will 
you? 

Laf. Well, for heaven'sake — I never met such a sympathetic 
and congenial soul as your's is. 

Ros. Ditto to you. [ Chinks glasses.] 

Laf. [Stealing gradually towards her.] You could like me, 
then? 

Ros. You'll pass in a crowd. 

Laf. With you on my arm ? The busy crowd of life. 

Ros. [Stares at him.] What a goose you are. 

Laf Ami? [Puts his arm around her waist] 

Ros. [Sharply.] Be quiet ! [In low tone.] John's looking 
straight at us ! 

Laf John, go down stairs ! [John exits instantly.] We are 
alone. Oh, Kate — dearest Kitty ! [Arm around her waist.] 

Ros. [Aside.] He means business. 

Laf. I never loved a creature I ever met as I do you. 



44 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Bos. Sir! 

Laf. I mean I never met a creature I loved as I love you. 
It is not love — it is adoration — it is frenzy. 

Bos. It is champagne. [Bises; crosses to l.] 

Laf. [e.] No, it is the tumultuous passion of a captive heart. 

Bos. I must go away. 

Laf. Not till you sentence the slave at your feet. See — I 
kneel for pity. [Flings himself on his knee — she moves a few steps 
— but he holds her hand, and travels after her.~] I love you — be 
mine — say you will be mine. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, bursting in. 

Mrs. Weebles. My darlings! [r.] 
Bos. Oh ! [Escapes and runs to her.~\ 

John enters hurriedly. 

John. Master's coming back. 

Bos. [Shrieks.'] Let me get away ! [Darts off, c, pauses a 
moment to laugh at Laf, and disappears.] 

Mrs. W. [ To Laf., who is still on his knees.] Get up and don't 
make a display before the servants. 

Laf. [Getting up.] But where has she gone? It was all 
right. I was just at the winning post. 

Mrs. W. [r.] Did she accept ? 

Laf. She was just going to. 

Mrs. W. I'll take care of the rest. Go to the library and 
wait for me — Mr. Spinkle is coming. 

Laf Victoria ! [ Off, c. l.] 

Mrs. W. [Sweetly, to John.] John, not a word of this to Mr. 
Spinkle! Not a word, John, and I'll remember you. [Exits, 
R. u. E.] 

John. All right, mum. [Aside.] The old woman's come 
down at last. 

Spinkle enters, c, breathless. 

Spinkle. I saw Rosie come up in a cab as we left. Put my 
wife on the train and told her I'd forgotten my pocket-book ! 
Where is she? I must be sure she goes and goes for good. 
[Down r.] 

John. [At back of tabled] She's gone, sir. 

Sp. Gone? 

John. Slipped into the reception room as you came in, and 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 45 

darted out the front door as you came up. I heard it slam just 
now. 

Sp. Thank goodness ! 

John. [Putting glasses on tray.~\ Beg pardon, sir, but the other 
party came back. 

Sp. What other party ? 

John. The young gentleman, sir — been waiting ten minutes 
for you. 

Sp. Show him up. [John exits, c, Sp. looks at watch."] 
Who can it be? I must rejoin Louise. 

Herbert enters, c. l., hat in hand. 

Herbert. Mr. Spinkle ? [l.] 

Sp. [r.] Yes. 

Herb. My name is Herbert Rumbrent. 

Sp. What can I do for you ? 

Herb. You are probably not aware of the object of my visit ? 

Sp. I am not. 

Herb. [Bhapsodically.] It is impossible for me to explain 
myself in one word. You will pardon me for preparing you, as 
it were, in my own way, for the communication I have to make. 

Sp. [Takes out watch.] Please be as brief as possible. My 
time is short. 

Herb. Will you do me the favor to take a seat ? 

Sp. Thank you — I prefer to stand. 

Herb. Sir — I am a painter. 

Sp. Well, sir, we don't need anything in your line, at present, 
I believe. [ Crosses to l.] 

Herb. [Hurt.] You misunderstand me. 

Sp. Then— 

Herb." [Enthusiastically.] Let me speak ! Art, Mr. Spinkle, 
art, in these days of the realistic, contains sufficient of the ideal 
to save its votaries from the vortex of materialism. We may 
compare its progress to a mountain journey over rugged barriers 
and rocky impediments, all to be surmounted, before a ravishing 
prospect rewards the weary wanderer for his toil. 

Sp. My dear sir, is there any prospect of your coming to the 
point shortly ? 

Herb. [Aside.] A soul of clay ! 

Sp. I beg pardon — 

Herb. I must convince you at the outset, that those things 
which are above and beyond the experience of mere vulgar ex- 
istence, have a right to recognition and regard. There are two 
roads. 



46 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Sp. Very good — oblige me by getting into the shortest one 
at once. 

Herb. You catch the metaphor. We shall soon understand 
one another. Pray sit down. 

Sp. I told you before, I don't wish to. This is my house. 

Herb. [With fervor.'] I know that — that's the reason I 
called — relying on the courtesy of its master. Follow me for 
one moment into the realms of the ideal — cast off the bonds of 
conventional inertion and soar to the imaginary. 

Sp. [r] My good friend, you have struck the wrong house, 
or got the wrong number. My name is Spinkle — Alexander 
Spinkle — a retired stock broker — the Doctor is two doors below, 
and the insane asylum is some blocks above. 

Serb. [Smiling.'] I'm all right here. 

Sp. [Tapping Herb.'s forehead.] Yes, but the question is — 
are you all right there f 

Herb. [Crossing to l.] The jest of stolidity. Sir, whatever 
be the texture of your mind, it has created visions — it has 
evoked phantasms — 

Sp. It has done nothing of the kind. 

Herb, [l.] Dreams are the revel of the delighted spirit, 
freed from the iron shackles of the will. 

Sp. I never dream, sir. 

Herb. [ Wipes his brow.] Well, sir, I don't like to say there 
is anything wrong with you. Heaven forbid ! 

Sp. Say what you like as long as you say your say out. 
Come — be short and sweet and to the point. 

Herb. We will come to the point, sir. 

Sp. Yes, but when — when, my good sir? That's the import- 
ant question for me. 

Herb. [Rhapsodically.] As soon as I can obtain your assist- 
ance in the solution of a problem born of a vision, but the first 
principles of which you utterly fail to comprehend from want of 
power to follow me into the profound regions of the ideal. 

Sp. [Calmly but forcibly.] You mean to say that I am an 
ass? 

Herb. On the contrary — your appearance bespeaks intelli- 
gence. 

Sp. Quite enough, sir. I have no more time to spare. 

Herb. Have I possibly given offence ? It was the last thought 
in my head. Judge for yourself. I come to speak to you of 
your wife [Sp. starts.] and begin by offending you. Nonsense ! 
[ Crosses to r.] 

Sp. [Stops.] You come to speak to me of my wife ? 

Herb. [Turns short on him.] Your wife, Mr. Spinkle, is 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 47 

endowed with such beauty as we would behold, could we crystal- 
ize the subtle essence of an artist's dream. 

Sp. My wife, sir — 

Herb. You would not cause that wife a moment's pain — 
rather would you make every sacrifice to secure her pride and 
happiness ? 

Sp. I don't understand. 

Herb. Your niece has not told you of my coming ? 

Sp. [Struck.] My niece? 

Herb. The young lady I just met. [Turning away, r.] 

Sp. [Aside.] This is some rascal who has got hold of the 
matter and comes to threaten. Can Rosa be a party to this 
plot ? I must outface it. 

Herb. Your niece — 

Sp. I don't know what you refer to. I have no niece. 

Herb. No niece ? 

Sp. ~No niece ! 

Herb. [Aside.] It's an extraordinary family. The niece 
don't know her aunt, and the uncle don't know the niece. 

Sp. [Forces Herb's hat into his hands.] Our interview is at 
an end. 

Herb. Sir ! This proceeding — [Puts hat on table, c] 

Sp. There is the door, sir. I invite you to view the prospect 
outside. [Music] 

Herb. Sir ! 

Sp. Don't compel me to make your path any more rugged 
than it is. 

Herb. Very well, sir. 

Sp. [Crossing to n., forcing him out] No threats, sir. 

Louise enters, c. 

Herb. We shall meet again, sir. [Turns to go out] 

Louise. [Sees Herb, and shrieks.] 'Tis he ! 
Sp. 'Tis he ? Who ? 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. 

Lou. The man that followed me ! 

Mrs. Weebles. The scoundrel ! My lamb ! 

Herb. Yes! 'Tis he ! My ideal ! 

Sp. Will you get out, sir? 

Herb. My dream! 

Sp. Shall I kick you out, sir ? 

Lou. [Crossing to Sp.] Oh, Alexander ! [Throivs her arms 



48 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

around him — he turns to her, r. — she passes around him as 
Mrs. W. embraces him. He turns her to r., and she falls, sitting, 
on sofa. Sp. throws hat at Herb. Lou., trying to restrain his 
anger and looking after Herb., pushes him ; he falls into Mrs. W.'s 
lap.] 

Mrs. W. [Crossing to Sp.~\ Let there be no blood shed. 

Sp. Oh, go to the devil — and you, sir — 

Herb. A most extraordinary family ! 

Curtain. 



ACT III. 



Scene. — Garden of Mrs. Portley' s Summer Hotel on the Boule- 
vards. Music. 

Heebert discovered arranging canvass on small table beside him, 
under a tree, R. c. 

Herbert. Singular how little offends some people. Who 
would have supposed that party across the way could fly into 
such a passion. But the greatest wonder is how such an amiable 
girl as his niece could have such a bad-tempered uncle. 

Mrs. Portley enters, c.,from house. 

Mrs. Portley. How do you like working out here, Mr. Kum- 
brent ? 

Herb. It is very kind of you to permit me. I get along 
famously. Do you know, I felt some nervousness in asking your 
permission ? 

Mrs. P. Nervousness — and why, Mr. Kumbrent ? 

Herb. \_Artlessly.~\ Because you always look so sour, you 
know. 

Mrs. P. [Retreating, offended.] Sour ? 

Herb. Pardon me. I meant so — so — dignified. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 49 

Mrs. P. [Fanning herself violently.'] My position requires 
dignity. 

Herb. True, and so does your age. Quite natural. 

Mrs. P. Upon my word, Mr. Rumbrent, you have a very 
happy way of putting people at their ease. 

Herb. Have I offended you again ? I did not mean to. No 
one would take you for an old woman. You dress so youthful. 

Mrs. P. Don't apologize any further, I beg. [J.s^e] He 
has the gift of saying the worst things in the most innocent 
way. 

Peter, a waiter, enters, c, with a small register of guests, laugh- 
ing quietly. 

Peter. Here's the name the tall gentleman has put down. 

Mrs. P. The party with the animals? 

Peter, [a] Yes'm. He's the oddest fish I ever saw. [Leaves 
book in her hands and goes up.] 

Mrs. P. [Feels in pockets.] Left my glasses down stairs. 
[Crosses to c, to Herb.] Can you read the name here? It's a 
new boarder. He looks like a pirate. With the fiercest mous- 
tache — and drives a little pony and a small donkey. 

Herb. [Looks at name.] Evidently a distinguished char- 
acter. [Heads.] " Hercules Smith, Premier Cannon Ball Per- 
former and Strong Man, of P. T. Boom's Greatest Show under 
the Heavens." 

Mrs. P. [Gives the book to Peter.] That's a very long name. 
What does it all mean ? [Peter exits.] 

Herb. Merely a circus performer. [Having looked about for 
his box of colors, he now exits for them by the window.] 

Mrs. P. What a disappointment ! [ Goes up a step and returns 
precipitately^] Sh ! Here he is now. 



Looks dubiously at Hercules, who enters. He has a 

shaven head, but a very long and fierce moustache — short, 
brown velvet coat and plaid pantaloons. 

Hercides. [l.] Good morning, ma'am! The landlady, I 
suppose. They said I should find you here. [ Gives hand.] 

Mrs. P. [Takes hand.] Yes, sir. [Aside.] What a rough 
hand he's got. It must be the effect of cannon ball tossing. 

Her. I have two objects in seeking you, ma'am. In the first 
place, Alice and John are not comfortably lodged. Alice has a 
cold in her eye from a hole in the wall, and John has a cramp 
in his leg from lying in a narrow rack. 
4 



50 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. P. Hey ? John and Alice ! Who may they be ? 

Her. Alice is the most intelligent pony of her size in America, 
and John is the most sagacious donkey in the world. They are 
worth their weight in gold. I secured them for our show, and 
will take them with me when my other business is accomplished. 
[ Crosses to r.] 

Mrs. P. Do anything you like to make them comfortable, 
sir. 

Her. Very obliging. [Takes out tickets and gives her.'] We 
show under canvass at Manhattanville, on the 15th proximo. 
Four admissions. Been doing immense business all Spring — 
hundreds turned away. Dates all filled for the Summer and 
Fall. Have you ever seen our show? 

Mrs. P. No, sir. Do — you — perform ? 

Her. [ With dignity.] I believe I am unequalled in my line 
— in cannon ball tossing. 

Mrs. P. [Hesitating.] Cannon ball tossing ? 

Her. Technically so called — but we improve every day. I 
now lift a horse with my jaw. The young donkey I have just 
secured will be a feature of my act. I'll ride him round the 
circle first and carry him out on my shoulders afterwards. 
Nothing in it to offend the most delicate susceptibility. 

Mrs. P. [Puts tickets in her pocket] We'll certainly go. 

Her. Now for the other matter. I am in search of a certain 
person — 

Mrs. P. Pray sit down. [They sit] 

Her. Just after we had struck an immense business after a 
very hard season, we met with a great misfortune. Our leading 
lady, Mad'moiselle Antoinette Berrown, threw us over — gave us 
the slip — disappeared. 

Mrs. P. Dear me ! 

Her. It paralyzed us. She was the most accomplished bal- 
loon and banner jumper in the profession — unequalled in the 
bare-back act. You should have seen her in " Diana at the 
Chase" — it was immense! Well — she left. Her excuse was 
want of proper consideration from the management. You know 
they have to be sweetened. 

Mrs. P. Flattered, I suppose. 

Her. Bless you, there are so many fellows turning their heads 
with nonsense, that they'll throw you over for a look ! I told 
the old man he must sweeten her. He wouldn't, and she's gone 
to the other shop. 

Mrs. P. How unfortunate ! 

Her. But we are not without resources — if we can get 'em. 
Last winter, when we had a run of hard luck in the mining cir- 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 51 

cuit, we lost the most promising young woman that ever trod the 
saw-dust. 

Mrs. P. Lost? 

Her. The last seen of her was at the railroad station. Our 
champion contortionist saw her get into the cars with a gentleman. 
She was unapproachable as a bare-back rider. You should have 
seen her in her great Indian act : " Modoc Girl pursued by the 
Pi-utes;" the press endorsed it. Well, as soon as Mad'moiselle 
Berrown levanted, the old man said to me, go and find the "Wild 
Rose of Yucatan " — we'll star her and cut Berrown out. 

Mrs. P. " The Wild Rose of Yucatan ?" 

Her. Pretty title, isn't it ? It's her nom der plum, as we say 
in French. It makes a magnificent line on the posters. 

Mrs. P. Well? 

Her. Well ? Ah ! oh ! yes — that brings me to the point. I 
have been to the dramatic agencies. She has left no address 
there, but it is confidently reported that she has been seen in this 
vicinity, and is believed to reside here. I took lodgings with 
you to be on the spot. Now, have you seen the Wild Rose ? Do 
you know where she is ? '[Jumps over back of chair, ,] 

Mrs. P. [Pises, frightened.'] My dear sir, I have never heard 
of her till this moment. 

Her. [r.] She was seen to call at a house in the neighbor- 
hood. 

Mrs. P. Stay — a young lady engaged board here yesterday — 
but — impossible — what is the name which the — your young per- 
son goes by when not on the stage ? 

Her. [Searching pockets.] The governor gave me the title in 
full — I must have left it in my bag. I'll get it — don't go — I'll 
get it in a jiffy. 

Exits, jumping over several chairs, and knocking against Spin- 
kle, who enters, hat in hand, l. u. e. Her. then exits, c. r. 

Spinkle. [Pubs his shoulder.] The fellow is as hard as a 
post. [To Mrs. P.] The landlady, I believe ? 

Mrs. P. Yes, sir. 

Sp. [l.] A young lady took board here yesterday ? 

Mrs. P. Miss Spinkle — yes, sir — Number three — shall I show 
you into the parlor ? 

Sp. Thank you — one moment. I wish to say that you must 
make her as comfortable as possible — show her every attention — 
I will be responsible for all expenses. She will stay here a few 
days, until my wife is able to receive her at my own house. 

Mrs. P. [Who has looked at him suspiciously at first, is noiv re- 
assured.] Oh ! You are married. 



52 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Sp. Yes, very much. Now, if you will call the young lady 
to see me — 

Mrs. P. Her room is just there. It opens on the porch. I 
can ask her to step out here. [Exits, R. u. window.~\ 

Sp. [Looks round.~\ It's a very secluded spot— in the rear. 
If I can persuade Kitty to keep the house for a few days, until 
the danger is over! [Wipes his brow.] Would any human 
being imagine the last blow struck at me ? Mrs. Weebles, who 
was to leave to-morrow, has just announced her intention of stay- 
ing another week ! [ Takes out paper.] And a note from Rosie 
informs me that she has decided to take up lodgings in the neigh- 
borhood, on my mother-in-law's recommendation, [ Crams it back 
into his pocket] while my wife, who has met the real niece, ex- 
pects a call from her at any moment. I am here to avert it. 
[Sits, R.] If this continues for one week, I will not answer for 
the consequences. 

Mrs. Portley enters, r. 3 e. 

Mrs. P. She will be here in a moment. 
Sp. Thanks. 

Hercules enters, c. r., with note-book. 

Hercules. Here you are — the name in full. Miss Rosie May- 
bloom — last address, Sidesnap's Agency, New York. 

Sp. [Struck.] Rosie Maybloom ! 

Mrs. P. [a, turning to Sp.] The gentleman is looking for 
her address. Wants to see her on very important business. 
[Exits, c] 

Sp. [Rises, quickly^] You don't say so. Perhaps I can give 
him the information he requires. 

Her. [Looking doubtfully at him.] I don't know. It isn't a 
very uncommon name. The young lady I mean — belongs to the 
— ahem ! Arena ! I am Hercules Serrmith, better known as the 
man with the iron cheek. [Attitude.] 

Sp. [Cheerfully.] We mean the same person. " The Wild 
Rose of Yucatan." [Smiles confidentially^] 

Her. By Jove, it's the same ! But I say, what line are you 
in ? [Examines him critically.] Ah ! Ring-master ! What 
show are you with ? 

Sp. [l.] N-n-no. I'm not exactly a professional — at best 
only an amateur — and exceedingly anxious to retire from that. 
But what do you want with the young person ? 

Her. [r.] To offer her a first-class engagement — starred in 
the bills — two acts a night, and two hundred a week. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 53 

Sp. An engagement ! I guessed it ! What good luck ! 

Her. If she says done, I take her to Pittsburg with me to- 
night. 

Sp. She will — -you shall! [J.sic?e.] It's incredible ! [Aloud.] 
This very night ! 

Her. [k.] Ah ! What a loss she was ! Did you ever see 
her do the " Modoc Girl pursued by the Pi-utes ?" or the " Cor- 
sair's Bride ?" in which she jumps through 40 hoops backwards ? 

Sp. Never. 

Her. You've lost a treat. But her number — quick ! I must 
see her at once — strike while the iron's hot ! The number ! 

Sp. [Draws out crumpled note.~] Everything happens for the 
best. [ Aloud.] She is actually in the next street. [ Tears off a 
portion of the note and gives Her.] There's your direction. 
You can't miss it. 

Her. May all the gods reward thee ! [Crosses to l., up.~] I'll 
put a girdle round about the block in forty seconds. [Exits with 
several springs and a vaulting act, c. R.] 

Sp. [l.] I am saved ! 

Kitty enters, r. u. w. 

Kitty, Dear uncle ! [ Goes to him and presents her forehead to 
be kissed.] 

Sp. [l.] Ah, my little Katie. 

Kit. I suppose you've come for me. Auntie told you, of 
course, how we met this morning. 

Sp. Yes, my love ; but I have not come to take you over, my 
dear ; the fact is, my precious, that I came over to say that an 
unforseen circumstance requires her immediate attention at some 
little distance, my angel — that, in short, my darling, it will be a 
few days before she is ready to receive you — [Stops.] my 
sweet — 

Kit. [Disappointed.] Oh, how unfortunate. 

Sp. And there is another matter we are entirely agreed on 
with regard to you. 

Kit. With respect to me ? 

Sp. Yes — you understand, of course — that you have been 
put under our charge, and we stand in loco-parentis — that is to 
say, we are to watch over you as a daughter. 

Kit. Yes, sir. 

Sp. And our first request is, that you should live most retired 
while away from our roof. Go nowhere ; in fact — be seen by no 
one. 

Kit. Oh, uncle ! To live like a prisoner ! 



54 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Sp. It is the etiquette of the country, my dear. Until we 
formally present you in society, you are to have, as it were, a 
sort of secluded existence. Read — play — sew — but do not go 
out, nor sit at the window. 

Kit Not sit at the window ? Why not ? 

Sp. There is so much impertinence, impudence and audacity 
abroad in this country, that it is really dangerous for a young 
person to look out at her window ; it is, indeed. 

Kit. [Laughing, .] Why, I'm not afraid in the least. I know 
how to treat impertinence. [ Crosses to l.] I'll take care of my- 
self. 

Sp. [Suddenly affecting alarm as he looks at her.~\ Why, good 
gracious, my dear ! 

Kit. [Alarmed.'] What is it, uncle ? 

Sp. Look at your face — I mean, let me look at your face. 
Turn round — not that way. That way ! Now the other side. 
Why, your cheek is swelled up ! 

Kit. [Bubs it] My cheek is swelled up ? 

Sp. You must have caught cold — at the window. 

Kit I don't feel any pain. I guess it's nothing very bad. 

Sp. Don't treat it so lightly, my dear. In this country — this 
climate — it is an exceedingly dangerous symptom. You must 
not stir from the house until I am satisfied that it's entirely cured. 
Have you a handkerchief to tie your head up ? 

Kit. I don't want my head tied up. 

Sp. I insist upon your complying with my directions. [She 
gives handkerchief and he ties up her jaw.] It is only for a few 
days or a week at furthest. [J.swfe.] Until my mother-in-law 
goes away. [JUoitd] On no account remove the handkerchief 
until bedtime, and to-morrow you must substitute a piece of red 
flannel for it. 

Kit. Oh, horrors ! Red flannel ! [ Crosses to r.] Is it 
really so bad, uncle ? 

Sp. My duty to your father will not suffer me to omit a 
single precaution for your safety. You feel better already, don't 
you? 

Kit. I'm just beginning to feel very bad. [Stage, R.] 

Sp. [ Urging her up to windoiv.] Then you must go into the 
house at once — and be very particular about the window, my 
love. Don't go near the window — pull down the shade as soon 
as you go in your room. 

Kit. Yes, uncle. 

Sp. [ Taking package from pocket.] Here's a pound of candy 
— assorted— I got for you — chew them on the other side of your 
mouth. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 55 

Kit. [ Takes package.] Yes, sir. 

Sp. [Kisses her forehead.'] Now go, my love, the air is very- 
damp out here. [Sees her in, R.] Poor girl ! It's a shame to 
impose on her, but necessity knows no law, and my mother-in-law 
no mercy. 

Hercules re-enters, with hat on, as if from street. 

Hercules. There you are yet. How lucky. You can do me 
the greatest favor. She'll be here right away. 

Sp. [r.] Will she go? 

Her. Yes, provided her uncle consents. She must see her 
uncle first, and obtain his approval. Of course, it's a pretext — 
nobody ever heard of her uncle. There is no uncle. 

Sp. You are mistaken, sir, Jam her uucle. 

Her. You? You are joking! [Pokes him.] 

Sp. I shall insist on her going with you. It is my interest to 
have her go at once. 

Her. Oho ! Well ! Mum's the word — uncle or not ! You're 
on our side, and a devilish good fellow ! Have something with 
me? 

Sp. [Declining^] Really, I — 

Her. I won't hear no. You must. [Pulls him up staged] 

Sp. [Aside.] It's the only way to get rid of him. [Aloud.] 
Well, have it your own way. 

Her. [Takes his arm.] We'll drink to the Corsair's Bride. 

They are going, when Mrs. Portley enters, c. r. 

Sp. [ To Mrs. P.] Remember to take good care of the young 
lady. 

Her. [ Crosses to Mrs. P.] She'll be here directly. 

Sp. No — it's another one. 

Her. Another one ? [Pokes him.] Are you uncle to some 
more ? Ha, ha, ha ! You an amateur ! Why, you're a regular 
full blown — 

Sp. Come along. [Hurries him off, l. u. e.] 

Mrs. Portley. Rely on me, sir. 

Herbert re-enters, with palette, rest-stick, brushes, etc. 

Herbert. I say, Mrs. Portley, has my fair young neighbor 
been out to-day ? 

Mrs. P. [l.] You seem very anxious about your fair young 
neighbor, Mr. Rumbrent. 



56 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Herb. No harm in that, is there ? I told you how I met her 
at her uncle's. 

Mrs. P. [Looks at his canvas.~\ How would you like to paint 
my portrait ? Would it take long ? 

Herb. [ Working.'] Not as long as a young face. 

Mrs. P. [Down l., nettled.'] Indeed! 

Herb. No. You see the wrinkles give an expression that is 
very easily caught. 

Mrs. P. I don't think I'll trouble you. 

Herb. [Aside.] Now, what in the world is the matter with 
her? 

Kitty re-enters. 

Mrs. P. [l., sees handkerchief.] Good morning, miss. 

Herb, [n., rises.] Are you ill? 

Kitty, [a] I've got a swelled face. 

Mrs. P. It must have come on very suddenly. Is it the 
toothache ? 

Kit. No. I feel quite well. 

Mrs. P. Let me see it. [Removes handkerchief.] Why, I see 
nothing ! It's all right now. 

Kit. [Feels her cheek.] It feels all right. 

Herb. [Painting.] I think you look much better without 
that thing around your head. 

Mrs. P. [Crossing to c, jokingly.] Who consulted you, sir? 

Kit. I'm sure I may as well leave it off. I only consented 
to please uncle. 

Mrs. P. Your hair's all spoiled. 

Kit. [Looks at Herb.] Is it ? I can fix that in a moment. 
[Puns to r. u. window.] 

Mrs. P. [ Confidentially to Herb.] Did you hear her speak of 
her uncle ? 

Herb. [Looking up.] Well, what is there strange about that ? 

Mrs. P. Nothing, except that the gentleman she calls her 
uncle told me a while ago he had engaged her as governess. 

Herb. [Reflecting.] And, now I remember, he told me yes- 
terday that he had no niece. 

Mrs. P. [Shaking her head.] It looks very bad — very bad. 

Herb. Who can you trust? [Irritated^] Pshaw! Women 
are all alike. They havn't the slightest regard for the truth. 
[ Goes to work.] 

Mrs. P. Well, I never! You are the most gallant person I 
ever met. [ Goes into house, c. k.] 

Herb. [Pausing.] And she looked so innocent! A mere 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 57 

adventuress, I suppose, like so many others. [Resolutely. .] But 
she shall not practice her deceptions on me. [ Works.'] 

Kitty re-enters. 

Kitty. He's at work, now. How I should like to see what 
he's painting. Perhaps I could learn something. [Herb, turns 
and looks steadily at her.~\ Well ? Why do you stop ? 

Herb, [r.] I can't work when anybody is watching me. 

Kit. [Moving away to sofa.] Oh! Then I won't disturb you 
any more. 

Herb. Thank you. 

Kit. Does it interfere with your work if I remain out here? 

Herb. I have no right to complain of that. The guests of 
the house have a right here as well as myself. 

Kit. And if I talk? I have read that great painters like to 
chat while working. 

Herb. I am not a great painter ! Humph ! Do you feel an 
interest in art ? 

Kit. Oh, yes, indeed ! Especially in painting. 

Herb. [Aside.] She is trying to wind her artful net about 
me ! [Aloud, mockingly.] Perhaps you paint yourself? [He is 
ahvays at work.] 

Kit. I draw a little. 

Herb. [Same tone.] I should really like to see your produc- 
tions ! 

Kit. [Rising.] If you promise to not be very severe with me, 
I'll show you my sketch book. 

Herb. [Same tone.] I should be charmed. 

Kit. Mind — you have promised. [ Goes into house.] 

Herb, [a, pauses.] I wrong her. She is truth itself, or else 
there is nothing on this earth a man can trust. [Rises.] It is 
impossible to believe that falsehood can dwell in such a heart. 

Kitty re-enters with sketch book. 

Herb. Let me see! [Takes book.] 

Kitty. [As they both look over it] You won't laugh ? 

Herb. [Pausing at a sketch.] Did you draw that ? All alone? 

Kit. [r.] Yes. That was done before I had a master. 

Herb. [Studying it] It is certainly a study from nature. 

Kit From memory. It is my earliest recollection of the spot 
where I passed my girlhood. That dumpy little figure there is 
myself. 

Herb. [Pointing.] That's a good figure — the laborer in his 
coarse garb — spade in hand. 



58 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Kit. That is my father. 

Herb. I beg a thousand pardons — I did not know. 

Kit. Why? Work is no shame. I used to work, too. 

Herb. [ Crosses to r., aside.] Then she must be poor. [Jioitd.] 
Do you know, Miss Kate, that your efforts are far above medi- 
ocrity? Honestly, I am quite surprised. [Turns over more 
leaves.'] 

Kit. [Tries to take away the book, as he pauses before another 
page.~\ There is nothing more that would interest you. 

Herb. [Retaining book.] There's another drawing here. 

Kit. [Same business.] It's a sketch I began this morning. 

Herb. [Same.] Well, I want to see it. 

Kit. Please ! [Puts her hand on it] I was merely trying 
my skill in drawing from memory again, and I commenced with 
the first thing that came to my *mmd. [Removes her hand.] 
There, then, what do you think of it ? [Archly.] 

Herb. If I am not greatly mistaken, it is intended for my 
portrait. 

Kit. Do you really recognize it ? How glad I am ! Then 
I'll sketch the head of my aunt for you. You wanted that, you 
know. 

Herb. [Closing book, retaining it, and looking at her.] Do 
you wish to know what I think ? It's this — with the talent you 
possess, you are throwing yourself away in taking the position of 
governess. 

Kit. [Astonished.] The position of governess ! 

Herb. Permit me to speak candidly to you. When I met you 
in the house across the way, you told me the gentleman was your 
uncle. 

Kit. Yes. 

Herb. In my subsequent interview with him, he said he had 
no nieces. 

Kit. He said that ? 

Herb. And a little while ago, the landlady told me that he 
had informed her you were engaged by him as governess. 

Kit. [l., laughs.] What an idea! [Becomes suddenly 
alarmed.] But what does it all mean? He forbade me leave the 
house, or going to the window, and tied up my face, because he 
said I had a swelled cheek ! [ Tearful.] I don't know what to 
make of it all. 

Herb. [ Gravely.] I think I can explain. 

Kit. Can you ? 

Herb. Yes — the secret lies in three words : you are poor. 

Kit. [Amazed.] Poor? Who told you I was poor ? 

Herb. You forget you showed me the picture of your home, 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 59 

and the figure of your father! Your uncle, on the other hand, 
is rich, and lives in a grand house. You arrive from abroad — 
he is forced by common decency to acknowledge you privately — 
but, while he seeks for some means of suitably disposing of you, 
he intends that you shall neither be seen or heard of. That's all. 

Kit. But what if I told you — 

Herb. [Gives back book.] You needn't tell me anything. 
You have a proud and honest heart — did you not say to me, 
" Work is no shame." [ Catches her hand.~] I honor you as 
much as if you were loaded with riches. Forgive my bluntness, 
and let me say that, while on the one hand, I have made the ac- 
quaintance of a noble and charming girl — you, on the other hand, 
have made a devoted friend, who will serve you to the utmost of 
his humble power. Will you trust me? 

Kit. [ Clasps his hand.'] Yes, I will trust you. [Music] 

Herb. I thank you for that. [Kisses her hand, and exits into 
house.] 

Kit. [Alone.] I really don't know what he means, nor what 
is the matter. He says I'm poor and he's my friend — he has seen 
uncle, and talks as if he knew something, or rather everything. 
My head goes round and round, and all I seem to understand 
clearly, is — that his face and his words convince me that he, at 
least, is honest, and that I may confide in his friendship. [Looks 
towards HerbSs apartments^] There is his room ! I heard him 
sing this morning — and listened. 

Mrs. Portley enters, c r., showing in Rosie. Kit. looks at 
Ros. and then exits into house. 

Mrs. Portley. The gentleman said he'd be back shortly. 
[Music] 

Posie [Sits/] I can wait here, I suppose. 

Mrs. P. Certainly — and here's a paper. [Points to newspaper 
on sofa.] 

Pos. [Crosses, l., and sits on sofa.] Thank you — I don't 
want to read. Have you got anything with pictures? 

Mrs. P. There's a magazine. [Aside, going.] What a re- 
spectable young person to stand on a bare-back horse and jump 
through balloons! She looks like a lady! What is the world 
coming to ? [Exits, c d. Music stops.] 

Pos. [Throws book away.] And so they want me to come 
back, just as I was getting home-sick for it. [Pises.] Every 
evening as the clock strikes seven, the old longing comes back. 
[Animated.] The lights ! the crowd ! the music! the applause ! 
the bright ring ! the neighing horses ! the spangles ! the glitter ! 



60 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Then it's iny entree ! First a hush — then they announce me — 
then a burst of music and the cheers from a thousand throats — I 
walk in air ! I vault on Dandy's back — and away in a whirl and 
a tempest ! 

Hercules has entered and overheard — applauds. 

Hercules. Bravo! bravo! 

Bos. Hallo! That you? [Grosses, k. Music, tremolo, and 
very quick.] 

Her. [Rises.] I'm here ! You'll come ! Star you in every 
town — your own terms — your -own maid — your own horses — 
your own dresses — your own acts — your own circus, in fact, and 
the governor on his knees begging you to accept ! 

Ros. I'm almost ready to say yes. 

Her. Say it, and come where glory waits ! I see you there 
now ! House packed to the tojD ! Audience howling for the 
Corsair's Bride ! There she is ! ]S"o — not yet — yes — yes — now ! 
[Takes her hand and runs up stage with her J] Let 'em go ! and 
in we come! [They run doicn.~] Make your curtsey! Now to 
right, now to the left ! Houp la ! And away we go. [She puts 
out her foot. He puts her, a V equestrienne, on to sofa, L., where she 
stands an instant at a chord from orchestra, and sings.~\ 

Rosie's song. 

Hi! Houp-la! Houp-la ! Hey! 

Walk up ! Walk up this way ! 

It is here you may 

See a grand display 

Of Equitation gay. 

Hi ! Houp-la ! [ Torpedoes, etc.'] 

This way ! Walk up ! Walk in ! 

All ready to begin. Bang ! Bang ! 

Stand out of the way, 

That the riders may 

Your kind approval win. Bang ! Bang ! 

[At end, falls, sitting on sofa.'] 

Her. [Imitating clown.] Whoa-a-a ! I say, master, the young 
lady rides well, doesn't she ? [a la Ringmaster^] Yes, sir, the 
young lady rides very well, [a la Clown.'] What will the 
young lady have now, master ? [a la Ringmaster.] Ask her 
yourself, Mr. Merryman. [a la Cloivn, to Ros.] What will the 
dear, delightful, beautiful young lady have now, Miss? 

Ros. [In affected tone.] The balloons, please. 

Her. [a la Clown, calling off, r.] Balloons for the young 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 61 

lady! Now, then, butterfingers ! Let me hold the balloon. 
[To orchestra] Gentlemen, a little more catgut — and away we 
go ! [ Takes a, child's kite and pretends to hold balloon. Music. 
Ros. mounts sofa again and pretends to jump through his balloon 
— as she sings through second verse of song. Her. now walking 
in, c, and following her motions a la Ringmaster] 

Bos. [Sings] 

Round and round, with a glance and a smile — 

Cantering gaily, all hearts to beguile ! 

When to my feet of a sudden I spring, 

What a joyous thrill goes round the ring ! 

Hi ! Houp-la ! Here we are again ! 

Hi! Houp-la! Houp-la! Hey! 

Hi! Houp-la! Houp-la! Hey! 

This way ! Walk up this way ! 

It is here that you may 

See a grand display 

Of Equitation gay. Bang! Bang! [Torpedoes, etc.] 

This way ! Walk up ! Walk in ! 

All ready to begin. Bang ! Bang ! 

Stand out of the way, 

That the riders may 

Your kind approval win. 

At end, Ros. falls, sitting on sofa, laughing. Spinkle has ap- 
peared at l. u. e., unseen by them. Her. strikes attitude. 

Her. So it's all settled ! You'll come ! 

Bos. [Jumping up] Oh, I forgot ! [Stage, l.] 

Her. What is it ? 

Bos. There's a party to be consulted. 

Her. Who is it? 

Bos. He's a Turk — Haroun al R-aschid — the Caliph of Bag- 
dad — that's what he calls himself. 

Her What a precious fool he must be. 

Spinkle. [Advances] He is. You've hit it exactly. I'm 
much obliged. [Shakes Her.'s hand] 

Her. [it.] Oh, it's you, is it ? Well, don't mind anything I 
say. [ Goes to easel and begins to paint the lady's face, then mous- 
tache, eyebrows and spectacles] 

Sp. I have the interest of this young lady greatly at heart. 

Bos. [Approaching, and archly to him] So much so, that 
you wish to get rid of me as quickly as possible. Ain't that 
so ? [ Crosses to l.] 

Sp. How can you think such a thing? 



62 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Bos. Oh, I know. I'm in the way — as your niece ! 
Sp. The fact is, that little deception has placed me in the 
most embarrassing position. 

Her. takes up palette and brush and puts a few touches to the por- 
trait, and turns chair back to c. of stage. 

Bos. I only played the part you cast for me — but I under- 
stand. The comedy's over — the curtain rung down, and we've 
come back to real life. So be it. [To Her., who advances.'] I 
accept — there's my hand. [Crosses to c] 

Sp. [l.] And my blessing with it. Accept my congratula- 
tions on your engagement. 

Bos. [Buttoning her glove.] If you should ever need a wit- 
ness to the character of your mother-in-law, send for me. As 
for yourself, I will testify that you are the most generous and 
the most amiable of men. [Goes up, c] 

Sp. [Aside, to Her.] Be sure you take her away at once — 
and when you are off for good — as a token, send me back this 
card. [Gives card from his card-case.] 

Her. It shall be done, me Lord. [Crossing up, l.] 

Bos. [Starting.] Oh ! 

Her. and 6p. What? 

Bos. [Advancing, c] I forgot! I'm engaged to be mar- 
ried. The young man will die! Where is my Lafayette? 
Bring me to my Moodle ! 

Her. Engaged to be married ! [Leaning back in chair, falls 
over.] 

Sp. To Moodle ! 

Bos. [a] He went on his bended knees. Your mother-in- 
law made the match. 

Mrs. Weebles. [ Outside.] Very good. Much obliged. 

Bos. [l.] It is her voice. 

Sp. [Darts to side — returns.] Good gracious ! She is coming 
here! Miss Rosie — for heaven's sake — hide — here — in this 
room ! [ Goes to Herb's door, R. 2 E.] 

Bos. [ Who has followed him.] But there's a man in there. 

Sp. Explain to him when you get inside. In ! [Pushes her 
in.] 

Her. What's the row, eh ? 

Sp. Find out what she wants. I'll be within call. [Exits, 

R. 3 E.] 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 63 

Her. sits at table and peeps at Mrs. Weebles and Lafayette, 
who enter, l. 

Mrs. Weebles. I saw him ! With a young woman ! They 
went in there ! 

Mrs. Portley follows them in. 

Mrs. Portley. Well, ma'am ? 

Lafayette. My aunt wished to look at your house. Very 
pleasantly situated indeed. [Looks round.'] 

Mrs. P. Most happy to show everythiug. 

Laf. We should like to see your rooms. 

Mrs. P. I'll get the keys in a moment. [Exits, c] 

Mrs. W. If I could only see the creature's face. If I could 
only just once find out what kind of a person my precious son- 
in-law is running after. That must be her room. It's just op- 
posite our house. 

Laf. [Aside, to her.~] We'll manage it. [Aloud.] You say 
that room would just suit you? Perhaps we can look at it. 
[Advances, but Her. bounds before him and obstructs the way — 
standing on one leg and balancing a chair on his chin.] 

Her. [r.] This room is occupied, sir. 

Laf. And who are you, sir ? 

Her. Principal cannon-ball-tosser and heavy weight. I swing 
live jackasses around with my teeth, as you'd swing a cat. [Laf. 
retires precipitately to Mrs. W.'s side.] 

Mrs. W. Why don't you go in? 

Laf. I'd rather not. He swings live jackasses. 

Mrs. W. [Advances to Her.] Do you know the lady who 
occupies that apartment? 

Her. I do. 

Mrs. W. Who is she? Have vou any objection to tell us 
that? 

Her. Not the slightest. She is our premiere esquestrienne and 
principal bare-back rider. 

Mrs. W. [Retreating.] Bare-back rider ! Your arm, Lafay- 
ette! Take me away. I shall faint. 

Her. [Advancing, politely.] If you should need any further 
information — 

Mrs. W. Take me away ! [Exits precipitately with Laf.] 

Spinkle re-appearing, L. 
Spinhle. Have they gone ? 



64 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Her. Yes. 

Sp. What did they want ? 

Her. To see the girl — but no husbands, present or prospec- 
tive, for the Wild Rose ! We've got her back and mean to keep 
her. I'll take her off the minute they leave the coast clear. 

Sp. Then, let us watch for the right time. [Hurries off, e. 

I.E.] 

Her. Houp la ! [Bounds after him, e. 1 e.] 

Kitty. [Running out and calling after /Sp.] Uncle ! Uncle ! 
[Disappointed. .] He's gone ! How oddly he acted ! Kan into 
my room, locked the door and began to peep through the key- 
hole, then, all of a sudden, darted out, and all without a word ! 
I don't know what to do. Tell Herbert — I mean Mr. Kumbrent 
— all about it, and ask his advice ? [ Goes towards his window, 
timidly^] I hear his voice. 

Heebeet appears, looks cautiously out, does not perceive Kit., then 
hands out Rosie. 

Herbert. They are all gone. You can come out. Nobody 
will see you. 

Kit. [Suppressed jealous emotion.~\ I beg your pardon. 

Bosie. I guess you won't let on about my being in here. 

Kit. [Bitterly.'] The secret is quite safe with me. What do 
I care? Why should it matter to me that Mr. Ruinbrent — and 
— and — anybody were together in there ? 

Bos. [ Goes up to her.] All this means that it does matter to 
you ! [Looks at both.] I see how it is ! [Aside to her.] Don't 
be afraid. I don't even know his name — have only known him 
five minutes, and, oh ! wouldn't have him as a gift ! His room 
smells like a paint shop! There! Thanks, very much. [To 
Herb.] Bye-bye. [Buns off, e. 1 e.] 

Herb. Good-bye. [To Kit., who begins to smile.] Well — 
what do you think ? 

Kit. [Sitting.] I thought you had found your ideal after all. 

Herb. Oh, no ! I entertained her at the request of your uncle. 

Kit. At the request of my uncle ? 

Herb. That is, I was mixing colors at the window when she 
tumbled in on me, propelled by your uncle's energetic arm. 

Kit. What can it mean ? Was she good looking ? 

Herb. [Energetically.] Oh, no ! Far from it ! She does not 
resemble you in the least. 

Kit. No ? [They are very close together, and he holds her hand 
and supports her.] Ah ! [Sighs.] How uncomfortable all this 
makes me ! [He starts.] I mean my uncle's strange behavior. 

Herb. Otherwise ? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 65 

Kit. Oh, if it were not for that, I should be perfectly happy. 

Herb. I will seek your uncle and demand an explanation. 
Have you any brothers ? 

Kit. No. I am all alone. No one to lean upon ! [Leaning 
against him."] 

Herb. My heart aches for you. I have no sister; you shall 
be mine, so look cheerily ! Smile ! We have nothing to fear. 
Now, you look radiant ! Painters must not lose such opportuni- 
ties. I'll get my brushes. You'll let me take your picture — 
won't you ? 

Kit. I am sorry I can give you nothing more valuable. 

Herb. I am content. [Kisses her hand.] Wait here! [Runs 
in, r. 2 e.] 

Kit. I know what is happening to me. I am falling in love. 
My heart's in my throat. I'm going to lose it. [Sits, l. c] 

Lafayette re-enters, c. 

Lafayette. There she is, alone ! I never talked to a bare-back 
rider in my life. The brilliancy and dash of a man of the world 
must be irresistible with 'em ! Ahem ! [Kit. starts and turns.'] 
Don't start, fair lady. Let me present myself, Mr. Lafayette 
Moodle. 

Kit. Have you not made a mistake, sir ? 

Laf. I believe not. [Puts his hat on the palette.'] 

Kit. I have no recollection of seeing you. 

Laf. But I have seen you — exchanging very friendly greet- 
ings with a gentleman opposite your window. 

Kit. [Recalling.] Oh, yes, it was my uncle. 

Laf Your uncle? [Aside.] Very clever! She is a ready 
hand. [Aloud.] Exactly! Well, one of the bright rays from 
your eyes missed your uncle and struck me. 

Kit. Did you come here to tell me that ? 

Laf To tell you that it fired my soul like the spur maddens 
the steed — that I'm having a grand four-horse act of Equitation, 
to manage the tumultuous feelings your glance inspired. How 
do you like the comparison, eh ? 

Kit. I don't like the comparison, and don't like you ! But I 
rather think, in your grand act of horsemanship, you must have 
met with an accident — come down on your head ! 

Laf Bravo! If you can jump like that, you'll soon catch 
my meaning. [Advancing.] 

Kit. [Rising.] I do not understand you, sir. 

Laf [Trying to seize her hand.] You charming little crea- 
ture. 



66 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Kit. [Retreating, followed by him.'] Leave me this instant. 
[Oosses.] 

Herbert re-enters. 

Herbert Stop, sir ! What are you doing ? 

Laf. [Aside.] He's only half the size of the jackass slingei. 
[Crosses to r., aloud.] Who are you — and what are you? 

Herb. My name is Eumbrent — I am a painter. 

Laf. Painter — house or sign ? He, he ! 

Serb. I shall be glad to paint a sign with your name and 
business on it. You are a coward and a ruffian! 

Laf. [Aside.] Xo — he couldn't swing a jackass ! [Aloud 
and gives his card.] There is my address — call on me when you 
like, and I'll give you the biggest job you ever had on your 
hands. [Aside.] He's no cannon ball tosser ! I'm not afraid 
of him. [Exits without his hat, after a profound bow to Kit.] 

Kit. [Runs to Kerb.] There will be trouble! Do not bother 
with him ! [Getting L.] 

Herb. Don't be alarmed. We don't fight such fools in this 
country — we flog them, and if we did — I could die for you ! 

Spinkle re-enters, joyfully. 

SpinJde. They are going ! They are going at last ! 

Mrs. Portley enters, looking behind. 

Mrs. Portley. Do look ! It's a regular procession ! 

Guests and servants enter. The windows and doors are filled with 
heads. Kosie enters on pony and Hercules on donkey, 
r. 2 E. 

Hercules. We're off! 

Laeayette re-enters, l. r. e. 

Lafayette. I forgot my hat. 

Kit. [Runs to Sp.] My dear uncle ! 

Laf. He's her uncle ! 

Rosie. Good-bve, uncle ! 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 67 

Laf. She's his uncle ! [ Turns in amazement — then perceives 
his hat. Takes it up and discovers the crown decorated by the 
colors from the palette.] Heavens ! [Sits on palette.~\ Good 
gracious ! [Rises with his coat decorated the same as his hat] 



Curtain. 



ACT IV. 

Scene. — Same as Act First. Table laid for breakfast. 

Spinkle discovered at the window. 

Spinhle. How obedient she is ! The shades are down. 

John enters, with card, c. 

John. Mr. Spinkle. 

Sp. Well? 

John. A party just brought this card, sir. 

Sp. [Eagerly, after taking it.] All right. You can go. 

John exits after showing in Uncle Major, who enters, hat and 
umbrella in hand. 

Uncle. There you are. 

Sp. [Buns to him.~] It's all right. [Showing him card.~\ 
That's my policy of insurance for a quiet life. 

Unc. [Looks at it with glasses.] Your own card ? 

Sp. It's the signal that the Wild Rose of Yucatan has gone. 
[Crosses to r.] 

Unc. I congratulate you. So it won't be necessary for me to 
do anything in the business. I'm heartily glad of it. [Turns 
card over.] What's this on the back ? 

Sp. On the back? 

Unc. Appears to be writing. 

Sp. [ Takes it eagerly and reads.] " She won't go. She has 
just received a billet-doux that upsets us. Will call on you as 
soon as I get particulars. Hercules." [ Crosses to l.] 



68 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Unc. [r. c] She's not gone ! Then I am ! [Puts on hat 
and makes a start.~\ 

Sp. [Catches him by coat-tail, l. c] Don't desert me ! 

Unc. There will be an explosion, sure ! Your mother-in-law 
hasn't taken her departure yet, has she ? 

Sp. No — but I've ordered a gang of painters in the house. 
She can't bear the smell of paint, and is sure to retreat. Do stay ! 

Unc. She'll be in a terrible temper, then. I'd think I'd bet- 
ter be off. [Another start.~] 

Sp. [Same play.'] Do me only one favor. Go and see my 
niece — the one across the way — invent anything to keep her away 
for this day at least. I'm sitting on a powder barrel. 

Unc. I don't mind doing that. Not for your sake — you good- 
for-nothing rascal — but for her's — poor little girl ! You deserve 
all you get. [Exits, c. l.] 

Sp. We are back again in the old hole. It's fearful. What 
a lesson. If ever I experiment in the Arabian Nights again — 

John enters, and puts letter on table, l. 

Sp. Has Mrs. Spinkle got home yet, John ? 
John. Yes, sir — but she's going out agaiD. 

Louise enters, r. u. d., in calling-dress, but without hat or wraps. 

Sp. [Arm round her neck.] How lovely you look in that 
dress ! Absolutely brilliant ! Gorgeous ! 

Lou. [r. c] You don't know how pleasant all your compli- 
ments sound. It's a treat to hear them, again — you nattering 
goose ! 

Sp. [l. c] If you knew how famished I've been for some- 
body to talk to all the weeks we've been separated. 

Lou. [r.] But you had mamma, darling ! 

Sp. Yes, darling, but I could not press her hand every mo- 
ment, as I do yours. 

Lou. I'm sure she'd have liked it, dearest. 

Sp. Then I could not kiss her a hundred times a day, as I do 
„you. [Lou. sees John, and by a look calls Sp.'s attention to him.] 
You may go, John. [John exits, c] And you are so cheerful, 
while mamma is occasionally — occasionally, you know — a little 
peevish, and that's so contagious — I caught the infection myself. 

Lou. It's all over, now. Mamma meant well, and I'm sure 
paid you every attention. 

Sp. Sometimes too much. She watched me like a cat. 
[Stage, L.] 

Lou. Watched you ? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 69 

/SJp. [Returning.'] I mean — watched everything I put in my 
mouth. 

Lou. Why, she says you never took your meals at home! 

Sp. Eh — exactly — that was the reason I didn't. 

Lou. [Half severely.'] And she says you were always on the 
go, and came home very late at night. 

Sp. I really wish she had something more to tell ! Why old 
women will meddle in other people's business I can't see! 
[Crosses to r.*] 

Lou. [Reproachfully.] Dearest ! 

Sp. It's positively malignant in her to embitter you against 
your husband the moment you step into the house. [ Crosses to r.] 

Lou. Embitter me against you ! She will never succeed in 
doing that. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d., down l., holding handkerchief to 

her nose. 

Mrs. Weebles. I'd like to know who sent the painters up to 
my room ? 

Sp. [ Crosses to l. a, simulating wrath.] The painters ! Did 
the rascals come to-day ? 

Mrs. W. John says you sent for them. 

Sp. [a] I told them expressly to come when you had gone, 
and now I think of it, you said yourself you were going to-day. 

Mrs. W. [Crosses ton.] Well, never mind. I've sent them 
about their business. [ Crosses. Sits r of table. Lou. sits c. and 
Sp. l.] Ah me ! It's a long time since we had a comfortable 
meal together. 

Sp. [l., aside.] Yes, it is, indeed ! [Aloud.] That was be- 
cause Louise was away. 

Mrs. W. [r] You can depend upon it, my children, true, 
real comfort, is only found with three in a family. 

Sp. Three? 

Mrs. W. Controversies can never arise — if a dispute occurs 
the majority decides. 

Lou. [a] I never thought of that. Mamma is quite right, 
isu't she, dear? 

Sp. Well, the question immediately occurs, which is better : 
two women and one man in the house, or two men and one 
woman? [With mouth full.] 

Lou. Yes, dear, but the question can't arise since we have 
mamma ! 

Sp. But she's going away. 

Lou. But if you press her to stay, she will, won't you, mamma? 
[About to take sugar — has the sugar-bowl in her l. hand — Sp. 



70 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

shakes her hand and makes the sugar fly, and hastily puts every 
piece of sugar in his cwp.~\ What do you want? 

Sp. Eh? oh! The eggs. Hand me the eggs, please! 

Lou, Here they are. [Hands them.'] 

Sp. \_To Mrs. W.] I'm sure we lived in peace when we two 
were alone together, we never quarrelled. 

Mrs. W. We couldn't. You hardly spoke to me. 

Sp. Now that sounds like a complaint. Did I neglect you ? 

Mrs. W. Perhaps not — but there was your niece. 

Sp. What about my niece ? 

Mrs. W. Letting her live away by herself. 

Sp. We didn't have a room to offer her. You had the best 
one yourself. 

Lou. [Consoling her. ~] Mamma, dear — 

Sp. I give you my word, that the instant you go, I'll have 
her in. 

Mrs. W. [Moving chair aivay.~\ Am I to understand, Mr. 
Spinkle, that this is a hint for me to go? 

Lou. Why, mamma ! It was only a little while ago he pro- 
posed that we should ask you to stay. [Sp. pulls her dress."] 
What do you want, dear ? 

Sp. Oh ! The salt, please. [JRises up, c. l.] 

Mrs. W. [Rising.] That's the way it was all the time you 
were gone. 

Sp. [Crosses and looks at watch.] You were going out again, 
Louise ? 

Lou. [a, rising.] If my little niece comes, be sure and keep 
her till I come back, mamma. 

Sp. [l.] She won't come. She's gone in the country. 

Lou. [a] In the country ? 

Sp. One of her shipboard acquaintances has invited her. I 
told her she ought to go. 

Mrs,. TT. [r.] She might have called and said good-bye to 
me. I wrote to her to come. [Aside.] I wonder if Lafayette 
knows of this? 

Lou. At all events, if she comes, keep her. [Exits, r.] 

Mrs. W. [To Sp.] So you send your niece away, do you? 
You don't approve of her evident attachment to me. It is very 
kind of you, Mr. Spinkle. 

Sp. I didn't send her away. They came for her. 

Mrs. TV. [Anxiously.] Are there any young men in the 
family she has gone to visit ? 

Sp. 'Pon my word, I don't know. 

Mrs. W. It is criminally careless in you to let her run about 
the country in this way. Suppose she should fall in love ? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 71 

Sp. I don't know. Let her please herself. It must come 
sooner or later. 

Mrs. W. [Anxiously.'] If some designing fortune hunter 
should snap her up ! 

Sp. Let him snap. 

Mrs. W. You are a pretty one to be entrusted with the care 
of a young girl. 

Sp. [Majestically. ~\ I know nothing about young girls. I 
wish to know nothing about them. Excuse me — I'll go and 
order the carriage. [Exits, c. John removes the things.] 

Mrs. W. [Alone.'] Hypocrite! He has detected Lafayette's 
attentions, and, to spite me, he has sent her out of the way. But 
I'll thwart him— I will. 

Lafayette enters, c. l. 

Lafayette. Well, auntie! Have you spoken to Spinkle? 
Will he object? 

Mrs. W. I can't speak to that man. You will have to ap- 
proach him on the subject yourself. But I have my suspicions 
about his probable course. He has sent her away, and she may 
slip off completely. 

Laf. [r.] With her money ! And I bought her a perfectly 
stunning bouquet. 

Mrs. W. Lid you come to anything like a final understand- 
ing with her ? 

Laf. I came pretty near it ; I got on my knees, you know. 

Mrs. W. But what did she say ? 

Laf. She laughed right out. 

Mrs. W. That is far from being decisive. 

Laf. [ Winks.] I gave her a kiss. 

Mrs. W. You did ? Did she cry ? 

Laf. No — she giggled. I think she was pleased. 

Mrs. W. At all events, you are getting on. 

Laf. [Dubiously.] Yes — I guess so — but she's awful skit- 
tish. 

Mrs. W. [l.] And now about that creature over the way — 
did you have an interview ? 

Laf. No, I couldn't. Another acrobat turned up just as I was 
about to gain her confidence. A very low fellow. One of the 
persons I could not possibly converse with. His language was 
frightful. 

Mrs. W. Then you discovered nothing ? 

Laf. Oh, I'm sure Spinkle is up to villainy there ! He's pass- 
ing her off on the landlady as his niece ! I heard her address 



72 AX ARABIAN NIGHT. 

him — I'd learned more, but I met with an accident, and had to 
go home and change my clothes. 

Mrs. TT. That's quite enough! Passes her off as his niece ! 
A female circus-rider ! What is the world coming to ? [ Crosses 
to R., with meaning.'] But say nothing! He's in our power — 
and we will bend him to our purpose — she is Tours. [Exits, c. 
to E.] 

Laf. If I hadn't sat on that paint, I could have clutched the 
fortune ! She was going out to ride — I could have had a splen- 
did tete-a-tete in the park — 

Spixkle enters, c. l., quickly, but seeing Laf., attempts to go bach, 
but Laf. sees him. 

Laf. Oh, cousin ! 

SjjinHe. [l., aside.'] I wonder how much the idiot saw 
across the way. [Aloud.] I'm in a great hurry. [Going.] 

Laf. Only one word, please. I'm in a very peculiar position 
— I want to ask you — 

Sp. \_Aside.~] Blackmail ! The villain must be silenced ! 
[Aloud, taking out pocketbook.] How much? 

Laf. It's not that — I'm very much obliged — all I want is that 
I want to get married. 

Sp. With all my heart ! Good-bye. [Going.] 

Laf. But I must talk to you about it further. You see, I 
have found a young lady who is very good looking — very ami- 
able — very intelligent and very rich. 

Sp. [e.] Young, rich and intelligent, eh ? Well, if she's 
intelligent, you'd better give it up — it's no go. Lafayette, you've 
no chance. 

Laf. She loves me — but we require the consent of her rela- 
tives — one especially. 

Sp. 

Laf. Oh, no; let me tell you how it is. 

Sjj. I havn't time fur a long story. I know the facts already 
— she is young, amiable, intelligent and rich. You love each 
other. Xow, what do you want ? 

Laf. [Dropping on his knees.] Your blessing on our union. 

Sp. With pleasure! Bless you! [Hastily waves his hands 
over him and turns away, up l.] 

Laf. Really and truly ? 

Sp. My son — you are not well ! Are you off your chump ? 
You're out of your senses. 

Laf A little. 

Sp. A little! That's all there was. 

Laf. Let me hug you ! [Embraces him.] 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 73 

Sp. [ Wriggling away.'] Pray, who is the lady ? 

Laf. You know. 
■ Sp.. I? 

Laf. I met her here. 

Sp. You met her here? 

Laf. In this very house. Who should it be but your charm- 
ing niece ! 

Sp. [ Thunderstruck.'] My niece ! [ Aside.] Heavens ! which 
one? [Crosses to R.] 

Laf. Your mother-in-law managed it for me. 

Sp. My mother-in-law ! [Aside.] Then it's Eosie ! [Aloud.] 
My dear cousin, my answer will be short and to the point. It's 
impossible. 

Laf Impossible? 

Sp. Simply impossible. Don't speak. I won't hear a word. 
The thing is out of the question. 

Laf. But Spinkle — my dear Spinkle ! 

Sp. Look at the matter coolly. My brother sends his daughter 
over here to await his arrival, and you think I would dispose 01 
her in this manner — to the first comer ? No, sir, not even if you 
were a fit object for her regard. 

Laf. [Dismayed.] Not even if I were a fit object ! 

Sp. Although you are not a fit object, you can see the force of 
my reasons. 

Mrs. Weebles enters, c. 

Laf. I'll telegraph to her father. 

Sp. You'll do nothing of the kind. It's impossible. 

Mrs. Weebles. [Violently, down c] Impossible, Mr. Spinkle, 
and why impossible, if you please ? 

Sp. [r., aside.] The old lady ! Now for a scene. 

Mrs. W. [a, wheedling.] My dear son-in-law, let us reason 
the thing over. 

Laf. [l.] Yes, let aunt reason the thing over with you. 

Sp. [Crosses to c] I say "no" and there's an end of it. 

Mrs. W. [In a rage.] It's mere spite ! You refuse because 
I wish it. 

Sp. Put it on any ground you please. [ To Laf] I say " no ! " 
[ To Mrs. W.] Emphatically — No ! ! N-0 ! [ Goes up, turns near 
door.] No/!! [Exits, r. d.] 

Laf. You hear him ? 

Mrs. W. [r.] I'll tame him. I'll teach him to raise his 
voice and N-0 me. 

Laf. Well, I don't give up the ship. There's one way left. 
I'll elope with her. 



74 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. It would serve him right. I should not blame her. 
Will she go ? [ Confidentially.'] Meanwhile, I'll take my pre- 
cious son-in-law in hand. You'll see him beg for mercy. But 
you must bring her here before you go — my consent and advice 
will turn the scales if she is inclined to hesitate. 

Laf. I'll bring her here. [Exits, c. l.] 

Spinkle re-enters, e. u. d. 

Spinkle. Now, that he's gone, we can talk this matter over 
seriously. You are a woman of sense. It would be the greatest 
favor to me if you would get this ridiculous idea out of his head. 

Mrs. W. [l.] Oh, you cousent to talk it over with me, do 
you ? [Sits l. of c. table.] 

Sp. [Sits.] I could not speak before Lafayette. But let me 
assure you in the beginning that my resolution is unalterable. 

Mrs. W. Are you quite sure of that ? 

Sp. Quite ! And I am prepared to say that you cannot re- 
main in my house if you encourage him in his folly. 

Mrs. W. [Mockingly.] Really! Well, before you commit 
yourself to that resolution, permit me to tell you a little story. 

Sp. A little story ? 

Mrs. W. A story with a moral. It is entitled, " The Imperti- 
nent Husband, or the Beautiful Circus Rider." [Sp. arises, fright- 
ened, his eye fixed on her.] Aha! it interests you, don't it? 

Sp. Not very much ! [Sits.] I can't see why it should. 

Mrs. W. [Taps his arm with her fan.] I know all about it, my 
dear son-in-law. 

Sp. [Aside.] Is it possible ! [Aloud.] All about what ? 

Mrs. W. She has confessed everything. 

Sp. [Leans back in his chair with a gasp, then recovers himself.] 
Then, you know how perfectly innocent I am. [Mrs. W. laughs!] 
Now, don't laugh. It was an accident — a foolish whim. 

Mrs. W. [Jeeringly.] Of course! Of course! 

Sp. It was all along of Haroun al Raschid, you know. She 
told you about Haroun al Raschid ? 

Mrs. W. [ Aside.] Haroun al Raschid ? What does he mean ? 
[Aloud.] Certainly, she told me everything. 

Sp. And you know that the cannon ball man has come to 
take her off my hands. 

Mrs. W. Of course ! [ Aside.] A pretty set he's got in with. 

Sp. [Moves his chair close to hers!\ And now, as you know 
everything, let us talk openly. What do you intend to do ? 

Mrs. W. What a sensible woman would do under the circum- 
stances. I intend to help you. 

Sp. [Overjoyed.] You do, really? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 75 

Mrs. W. Although you don't deserve it. 

Sp. [Affectionately.'] How I have misunderstood you, my 
dear mamma. 

Mrs. W. And now — if I assist you — you must assist Lafayette. 

Sp. Lafayette ! How much does he know about all this ? 

Mrs. W. He knows everything. 

Sp. [Astonished.'] He does! Well, then — I don't under- 
stand how he can — 

Louise enters in street dress, r. u. e. 

Mrs. W. — 'Sh ! Louise is here ! [ They rise.] 

Louise. [In archway, c] Are you ready, dear ? 

Sp. Yes, my love! [Crosses to c, aside to Mrs. W.] I'll be 
back as soon as I can. 

Mrs. W. [r., same to him.] But she may be gone before you 
get back. 

Sp. [Aside.] So much the better! [Aloud to Lou.] I'm 
coming. Good-bye, mamma. 

Lou. [Aside to Sp., taking his arm.] That's right. [To Mrs. 
W.] Good-bye, dear mamma. 

Sp. Yes — good-bye, dear mamma ! [Exeunt, c] 

Mrs. W. He can't escape ! How I twisted him round my 
finger, when I began my little story. He didn't wait to hear it 
out, but surrendered at once ! [ Goes to window.] They are 
gone ! [Aside.] I'd give something to know who Haroun al 
Raschid is, though. I must find that out. [l.] 

John. [ Outside.] But I tell you he's just gone out. 

Herbert. [Outside.] Very well. If Mr. Spinkle is not at 
home, anybody will do. I've got a message to deliver. 

Mrs. W. [Pausing.] Who is that ? 

John ushers in Herbert. 

John. Here's Mr. Spinkle's mother. 

Herbert. [Entrance, c. l.] I must entreat your pardon, 
madam, but the singular circumstances in which I am placed, will 
excuse my intrusion. 

Mrs. W. What do you wish, sir? 

Herb, [r.] I have come to this house to demand an expla- 
nation, and to clear up a mystery. 

Mrs. W. [l.] You seem to be greatly excited, sir. 

Herb. I confess it, madam. And the cause of it is the un- 
warrantable conduct of Mr. Spinkle to a young lady in the op- 
posite house, whom Mr. Spinkle calls his niece. 

Mrs. W. [l., aside.] The creature ! This must be the can- 



76 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

non-ball man, who is to take her off his hands ! [Aloud and 
stiffly.'] The matter does not concern me in the least, sir. 

Herb. I was prepared for the evasion. But as the young lady- 
claims to be under Mr. Spinkle's protection — 

Mrs. W. Don't, I beg of you — I can't permit — 

Herb. I will be extremely brief. I love the young lady, and 
I firmly believe, as far as judgment can assure it, that my love is 
returned. 

Mrs. W. Very well, sir. I have no objection to that. 

Herb. But what will Mr. Spinkle say to this avowal ? 

Mrs. W. I answer for him ! He'll be delighted. 

Herb. Then I have only to announce that I take her back to 
her own home to-morrow. 

Mrs. W. You have my congratulations. Do you wish Mr. 
Spinkle to pay your fares ? 

Herb. We are greatly obliged, but will not trouble him. 

Mrs. W. Allow me to say, on our part, that we are delighted 
to get rid of the young lady in that or any other manner. 
[ Crosses to r.] 

Herb. You are excessively kind. 

Mrs. W. You surely don't expect me to take any interest in 
that kind of a niece, I hope ? 

Herb. Oh, no. She is poor and would have been a burden to 
you. Nevertheless, I could not take the step I propose, without 
her uncle's consent. 

Mrs. W. Don't be uneasy. Do what you please. Go, stay, 
love, marry — we will offer no objections. 

Herb. Thanks, madam ! Be assured we shall never trouble 
you again. [.Exits, c] 

Mrs. W. For a circus performer his manners are really very 
good. [Looks at clock] Kate must soon be here. The dear 
child shall have my locket to take with her, as a proof of my in- 
terest and affection. [Exits, r. u. d.] 

Joh^ enters, followed by Hercules, who is quite hilarious, c. l. 

Hercules, [r.] I tell you, my fine fellow, I am a particular 
friend of Mr. Spinkle. 

John. That may all be so, sir. But I tell you he's not in at 
present. 

Her. What of that ? He's bound to come back some time ! 
What time will he be back ? [Skipping him on the back.] 

John. He may be in very soon. There's no telling. 

Her. [ Crosses to R.] Then well wait for him. Don't ask me 
to take a seat, because I was just about to do it. [Sits on sofa.] 
And you needn't bring any refreshments until your master comes 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 77 

in. He'll order up the suitable. Now go, John, clean up the 
knives and forks. I won't detain you any longer. 

John. [Aside.'] I don't like to leave him alone. I guess I'd 
better get the mother-in-law out — she'll know how to dispose of 
him. [Crosses to and exits, R. u. D.] 

Her. My friend Spinkle don't lodge badly. Everything of 
the best. If it was my house, though, I'd have pictures of the 
best horses hung round the room, and a couple of dumb bells on 
the centre table. And as for these lazy flunkeys, I'd have 'em 
up twice a day and trot 'em round the ring. [Cracks whip and 
gets back to sofa.] 

John re-enters, r. u. t>., crosses. 

John. She's a coming. [Exits, c. l.] 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d. 

Mrs. Weebles. A strange man in the parlor? 

Her. [ Yawning and stretching.] I suppose there's time for a 
little nap ! [ Curls up on sofa, with his back to Mrs. W.] 

Mrs. W. Do you wish to see Mr. Spinkle, sir ? 

Her. [Jumping up.] Mr. Spinkle! Where is the old boy? 

Mrs. W. The old boy ! 

Her. You bet your life he's on a cruise somewhere. He's 
got nothing to do but enjoy himself. 

Mrs. W. May I ask with whom I have the honor of speak- 
ing? 

Her. Honors are easy, I guess, old lady. I suppose you're 
the housekeeper. I'm one of the heavy-weights — under man in 
the pyramid — ground and lofty tumbling, eh? 

Mrs. W. [l., aside.] Another acrobat ! My son-in-law is 
certainly going to set up a circus. 

Her. This sort of a rig don't set off a fellow. You ought to 
see me in tights. If you're a judge of muscle, there's your 
chance. [Nudging her.] 

Mrs. W. But what do you want in my son-in-law's house ? 

Her. [Crosses to l.] Your son-in-law ! [Whistles.] Then I 
guess I made a pretty considerable mistake ! I apologize. This 
performance will not be repeated by request. [Bows.] 

Mrs. W. Your business ? 

Her. My business! Ah! that's the point. First — let me 
ask one question. Are you on good terms with your son-in- 
law? 

Mrs. W. Of course. He has no secrets from me. 



78 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Her. [Nudging her.'] Very good. Then as you know all 
about this affair, of course — I merely came to say that the fat's 
in the fire — she won't go. 

Mrs. W. She won't go ? The — the lady circus performer ? 

Her. There's a chap hanging round who wants to marry her. 
Now you know that when a woman gets that in her head, you 
can't do anything with her. You've been there. You know. 

Mrs. W. [e] Sir ! Come to the case in point. 

Her. The point's just here. My governor expects me to bring 
her to the circus to-morrow. He's got to have her. If I go 
back without her, he'll just pull my head off. Yes he will. 

Mrs. W. Then let me inform you that the young man is going 
to marry her. He was here just now. 

Her. He was? You saw him ? 

Mrs. W. He must belong to a rival establishment — his busi- 
ness is connected with cannon balls — if you understand what that 
is? 

Her. You don't tell me ! Going to take her to another es- 
tablishment, is he ? 

Mrs. W. You had better consult him yourself. 

Her. [Rolls up his cuffs.'] I'll consult him. Look here! 
There's a cannon ball I'll give him to toss. There's a fifty-six 
pounder for him to lift off his nose. Much obliged to you. 
I'll ring up on as pretty a show as you ever see when I catch 
him. [Going up, l.] 

Mrs. W. One moment, please. 

Her. [At door, turns.] I'm on time. 

Mrs. W. Do you know anything about Haroun al Raschid ? 

Her. [l.] Haroun al Raschid? 

Mrs. W. I'm exceedingly anxious to know all about him. 

Her. Haroun-al-Raschid ! Why he's the best trick horse of 
our circus ; goes up a step-ladder like a Christian, fires off a pis- 
tol with his teeth, and turns a hand-organ with his off left foot. 
[Returns and gives her tickets.] Here's a couple of comps for 
the show next month. You'll see the entire animal if you come. 
Good day, ma'am. No thanks. Don't mention it. [Off c, 
quickly. Music] 

Mrs. W. What a fearful class of people ! But what in the 
name of common sense had the horse to do with my son-in-law's 
infatuation for this creature? He said it was all on account of 
Haroun al Raschid. [ Crosses to l.] More mystery. [ Goes to 
window.] Here they are ! Lafayette and the dear child, in a 
cab. He has brought her at last — it was time. Now I can 
make them happy. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 79 

Lafayette and Kosie enter, c. R. 

Lafayette. Here we are, aunty ! 

Mrs. W. [l., embraces Eos.] My sweet girl! [Crosses toe, 
to Laf] So you are happy, you foolish fellow ? 

Laf. [r.] I feel as if I was standing on my head. 

Eosie. I don't know what's the matter with him. 

Mrs. W. It is love, my precious. All your doing — enchan- 
tress. [Music stops."] 

Eos. [Draws Mrs. W. aside, and quietly.] Did you know he 
wants to marry me ? 

Mrs. W. The impetuous boy. 

Eos. [Same.] And he wants me to elope with him. 

Mrs. W. Just like him. You'll have to do it. There never 
was any resisting him. [Crosses to c] 

Eos. [l.] Will you answer me one question, please ? [To 
Laf., who draws near.] No, no ; you must not listen. 

Mrs. W. [l.] Go away, you naughty fellow! [Laf. goes 
up, r.] What is it, my child ? 

Eos. [a] When people wish to get married, I suppose they 
must have something to live upon. How much has he got ? 

Mrs. W. My dear child, what he possesses is of minor im- 
portance. You will have enough for both. 

Eos. Oh — so we can live on my fortune ? 

Mrs. W. [ Crosses to a, 'patting her on cheek.] Yes, you prac- 
tical little thing. 

Eos. Ya'as. I am a practical little thing — and I like to 
have a practical little husband. Has Lafayette considered the 
circumstances you mention ? 

Mrs. W. Oh, fully. [Goes to Laf.] 

Eos. [l., aside.] So that's the romance of it, is it ? 

Laf. [a, goes to Eos.] The brightest future opens before us. 
The sky is all sunshine. We will live in air. 

Eos. [Aside.] Yes, and on it. 

Laf. Let us wing our flight to the empyrean of happiness. 

Eos. [Looks at him^\ Houp-la ! 

Mrs. W. [Contemplating them.] You were created for each 
other. [Music] 

Eos. [Aside.] How happy a girl must be when all this is 
real ! Poor Rosie ! [Dashes away a tear.] Time to be off ! 
[ Gaily, crosses to c] 

Mrs. W. [Puts locket and chain over Eos.'s neck.] Keep this 
for my sake. 

Eos. You have been very kind to me. I'm grateful. [Lays 
her hand on Mrs. W.'s arm.] And you shall not regret it. [ With 
meaning.] 



80 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Spinkle enters and looks at the group, astonished. Ros. sees him 
and goes to him. 

Ros. Good-bye. [Laf. crosses to Mrs. W.] 

Spinkle. [As he takes Ros.'s hand, says in a low tone to her.] 
This time I hope for good. 

Ros. [Same to him.'] Most generous Haroun al Raschid, the 
stay has come to an end at last. Don't be afraid. I'll return 
him [Indicating Laf.] safe and sound. 

Mrs. W. Don't keep them ! They must go ! 

Laf. Come, my dear! Good-bye, cousin ! [To Spink.] We 
are off! 

Sp. [r., near arch, shaking hands with him.] Take my 
advice. Get an excursion ticket — there and back. [Ros. and 
Laf. exit, off c] 

Mrs. W. Bless them ! 

Sp. [r., coming down.] You won't tell Louise anything of 
what you know ? 

Mrs. W. Not for the present. 

Sp. [Alarmed.] The present? 

Mrs. W. [r.] Not till the dear children come back from 
their honeymoon. 

Sp. Their honeymoon ! 

Mrs. W. [Triumphantly^] We have taken you by surprise. 
You have just assisted at their elopement. [Crosses to l.] 

Sp. [Excited.] Elopement ? Do you know what you have 
done? 

Mrs. W. Done! Yes — done you! [Crosses to R., up.] Ha, 
ha, ha, Mr. Spinkle ! Outwitted by your stupid old mother-in- 
law ! ha, ha, ha ! [Exits, R. u. d.] 

Sp. [His back against table.] When the truth comes out — I 
don't want to see her. That laugh in passing around to the other 
side of her mouth will certainly wrench her. 

Uncle enters, c, quickly, and puts down hat. Down R. 

Uncle. I say, Spinkle, did you know she was going away ? 
Sp. Going? She has gone. 

Unc. [Wipes forehead^] No — not yet. 
Sp. [Alarmed.] Not gone yet! 

Unc. I tried my best to keep her. 

Sp. [Angrily.] Why, what the devil— what in the name of 
madness induced you to do that ? 

Unc. I mean your niece across the way. 

Sp Eh! Oh, yes. I am so confused I forgot my niece. 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 81 

But you say she is going. Everybody is going except my mother- 
in-law! [To Unc.~\ Going where? 

Unc. Home ! The poor thing was ready to cry. 

Sp. [Crosses to R.] I'd like to cry, myself — I feel as if I 
were about to be hanged. Fancy what has happened ! Lafay- 
ette has eloped with the circus girl ! 

Unc. The Arabian Nights girl — the bare-back rider ? Well 
— all I can say is — it's a nice mess you've got into. 

Sp. When the truth comes out, I'm ruined ! Help me, uncle ! 
Think — invent — 

Unc. When the truth comes out ! Bring it out yourself — 
draw the string ! Confess ! 

Sp. To Mrs. Weebles? 

Unc. To your wife. 

Sp. [Looks mournfully at him."] You advise that ? 

Unc. I do. 

Sp. The clouds are gathering. 

Unc. The truth will scatter them, my boy — and after the 
storm — a bright morning. 

Sp. And the thunder and lightning will be furnished by my 
mother-in-law. [Exits, R. u. d.] 

Louise enters, c. l., followed by Susan, who helps to remove her 
cloak and hat. 

Louise. Mr. Spinkle is home? 

Susan, [l.] Yes, ma'am. Please, m'm, there's a young lady 
down stairs, who's been waiting for you. [Music] 
Lou. [r.] A young lady ? Ask her to come up. 

Kitty appears at door. 

Kitty. I took the liberty — [Susan exits, l.] 

Lou. Why, my dear Kate, when did you get back? 

Kit. I have not been away ! 

Lou. Why, my husband said you had gone to visit some 
friends ! 

Kit. Don't be angry with me, aunt, but uncle has been acting 
so strangely. 

Lou. Strangely ? 

Kit. Yes. I have made up my mind to go back to papa. If 
it had not been for Herbert — 

Lou. Herbert ? Who is Herbert ? 

Kit. I didn't tell you. He is in love with me. 
6 



82 AX ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Lou. [Reproach, alarm.] Heavens ! what have you been 
doing? 

Kit. [l.] We have been consulting as to the best course to 
take under the circumstances. 

Spinkle enters quickly, followed by Uncle. 

Spinkle. My dear — [Stops on seeing Kit.'] 

Uncle, [r.] Now's your time ! — confess everything ! 

Lou. [l. c, goes to Sp.] My dear, I'm so glad you've come. 
This poor child has taken a most important step. 

Sp. [Drawing her away.] Yes — and I'm going to take a most 
important step. 

Lou. [a] But she acknowledges — 

Sp. I am going to acknowledge — I must see you alone. [Unc. 
goes up stage.] 

Lou. But she — 

Sp. It's about her — and — others I wish to speak. If you 
don't come now it'll all fizz out ! [Feeling his throat.] I've got 
the cork out and there's not a moment to lose ! [Exit, r. u. d., 
with Lou.] 

Kit. [ Aside.] More mystery ! I'm getting frightened again. 
[Sits, l. c, table.] 

Unc. [l.] Sit down! Don't be frightened! It'll be all 
right within five minutes. I'll go and bring somebody else! 
[Nods, winks, smiles and exits, c. l.] 

Mrs. Weebles enters, r. u. d., stops on seeing Kit. 

Mrs. Weebles. That circus creature here! Whom are you 
waiting for? [Tartly.] 

Kit. [la., rises.] For Mr. Spinkle. 

Mrs. W. [Sternly.] I thought you were gone — long ago. 

Kit. [Interested.] Did you know I had resolved to go back ? 

Mrs. W. Yes — and I am particularly desirous of knowing 
why you have changed your mind ! 

Kit. I have not changed my mind. I thought it my duty to 
come here and say good-bye. 

Mrs. W. Your sense of duty, young woman, seems a little ex- 
aggerated. Come ! If there is anything more you want, tell me, 
you needn't see anybody else. In fact, I advise you not to ! 

Kit. [Rises proudly.] I am not afraid to see anybody] 
Everybody knows who I am. I am not ashamed. [Crosses R. c] 

Mrs W. [Aside.] The brazen thing ! 

Kit. Aunt herself told me to wait here. 

Mrs. W. Aunt? What aunt? 



AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 83 

Kit. It seems you don't know me. I am Mr. Spinkle's niece 
from France. 

Mrs. W. You bold, audacious creature ! Ain't you afraid the 
floor will open and swallow you up ? 

Uncle and Herbert enter, c. 

Uncle. There she is. 

Herbert, [r. c, goes to Kit.'] Why do you remain with these 
people, love ? 

Mrs. W. She brings her acrobats under our very noses ! 

Kit. [r.] Things are worse and worse! I have just been 
called a bold, audacious creature. Somebody's crazy here, and I 
know it's not me. 

Louise enters, r. u. e., laughing, and pulling in Spinkle. 

Louise. It's a splendid story ! [Runs to Kit., and seizes both 
her hands.] My poor Kate, what must you have suffered ! 

Mrs, W. Louise, do you know in what relation that person 
stands to your husband ? 

Lou. Yes, mamma. She's his niece. 

Mrs. W. His niece? 

Spinkle. [a, going to Mrs. W.] Of course, didn't you know 
that ? You said you knew everything ? 

Mrs. W. [In alarm.] Tell me, then ! — for goodness sake ! 
How many nieces have you got ? 

Sp. Only one — this one. 

Mrs. W. And the circus rider? Where is she? 

Sp. Eloped with Lafayette! [Goes to Lou., Kit. and Herb. 
Mrs. W. screams and faints. Unc. supports her to a chair, and 
begins to slap her hands.] 

Lou. Poor mamma ! [About to go to her.] 

Sp. [Restraining her.] Wait a moment. She'll brace up in 
a minute. I feel it coming. [To Herb.] I have heard all about 
it. For the present you shall be a welcome guest in my house, 
until my brother arrives ! He will give you his answer. 

Mrs. W. [Suddenly reviving.] Where is he? [Jumps up.] 

Sp. She wants me. 

Mrs. W. [Approaching him.] You have deceived me ! en- 
trapped us ! Give me back that poor deluded young man ! 

Sp. I regret to say I cannot. 

Rosie appears at door. 
Rosie. But I can ! 



84 AN ARABIAN NIGHT. 

Mrs. W. You? 

Bos. You recollect — I told you you were kind to me — and 
you should not regret it. Here is your locket — it was not meant, 
for me. And here is your nephew — he was not exactly intended 
for me, either. 

Lafayette enters, with handkerchief tied over his eye and limping. 

Lafayette. Oh, auntie ' we've had a devil of a time ! [l. of 
Bos.'] 

Bos. I promised to bring him back safe and sound — but — 
\_To Mrs. W.] you told poor Hercules that he was a rival circus 
man trying to carry me off, and so, in his indignation — 

Laf. He began to cannon ball me ! First, he loaded me with 
abuse, and then fired me into the middle of the street. 

Bos. But then he apologized when he discovered his mistake.. 

Laf. [Producing tickets.'] Yes, and he gave me two compli- 
mentary tickets for the show. [Crosses to r.] 

Bos. And brought you here himself! 

Hercules appears sheepishly at back. 

Mrs. W. My poor Lafayette ! We will go together. 

JJnc. [l.] No, you shall not. [Music] 

Bos. And now I can go — and this time for good. 

Lou. [ Goes to Bos.] No, you shall not — at least not till we 
have had a chat together. I am the only person who has a right, 
to complain — and I have nothing to complain of. 

Sp. Angel ! 

Herb. A true woman ! 

Kit. The best in the world. 

Mrs. W. Too good for this earth. 

Hercules, [r. of Mrs. W., feeling in his pocket, aside/] And I 
gave away my last two comps for the great show to that duffer 
over there. \_Down l.] 

Bos. \_To Lou.] And you don't think badly of poor little 
me ! How is it possible ? 

Lou. Because your big blue eyes look me straight in the 
face — 

Bos. Ah, no ! it's because a good woman believes in goodness 
— and there's not one here — no, not one, I'm sure, that's honest, 
himself or herself — but will believe in the innocence of our Ha- 
roun al Raschid — 

Sp. And his own particular Arabian Nights. 

Curtain. 



/J <i /(/ 



AN 



ARABIAN NIGHT 



NINETEENTH CENTURY. 



A COMEDY IN FOUR ACTS, FROM THE GERMAN, 
OF VON MOSER. 



AUGUSTIN DALY. 



AS ACTED AT DALY'S THEATRE FOR THE FIRST TIME, 
NOVEMBER 29th, 1879. 



NEW YORK: 
PRINTED AS MANUSCRIPT ONLY, FOR THE AUTHOR. 

1884. 



